Rabbi's Column - June 2020

Note: These remarks were offered by Rabbi Offner at the Annual Meeting on May 14th:

The agenda for the Annual Meeting calls upon me to offer a “Review of the Year.” How does one offer a review of the year when just the past eight weeks already feel like a century? Time is funny that way, and no more so than during a pandemic. So as I reflect on this past year, I reflect most significantly on how a synagogue like ours, a synagogue that at its very heart is about bringing people together, how we made a pivot eight weeks ago, and how in a matter of hours we took everything that is precious to us – our prayers, our learning, our Torah, our life cycles and our social justice work – and we put it all on line and we turned our entire synagogue into a virtual reality.

Consider those two words: ‘virtual’ and ‘reality’. They used to be opposites. If it was virtual, it wasn’t real. Today those words are synonyms. We focus a lot of our efforts on the ‘virtual’ part, as those of us who barely knew how to save a word document, are all of a sudden faced with the need to navigate through the day with Zoom and Google Classroom and Facebook Live. Everything is now virtual. But ‘reality’ is another important word, because though it is now via technology, we are still coming together and we have created something very real. Synagogue life has not stopped, not for one second. If anything, we are more connected, more profoundly connected, as this pandemic has made all our religious language about life and death more acute and more manifest.

In just 2 short months we managed to put all of our Shabbat services on line. We have live onegs on line. We had a Passover Seder and Passover Meals and even hosted special guest speakers at our Shabbat services. We have an engaging Torah study every week on line. We even have Jewish Meditation on line.

We also have an emergency connection network at our synagogue right now that we lovingly call “Helping Hands,” so that every single member of our congregation has a contact person who can initiate delivery of groceries, a chat to mitigate against lonliness, delivery of masks and navigation of social services.

And yes, the cycle of life continues. I have conducted baby namings on line, and I have wept with mourners at shiva services, on line.

None of this could happen without the extraordinary dedication and service of our lay leadership and our staff. Our Executive Committee has been working overtime. Perhaps I should amend “overtime” to “all the time.” I do not know how they do it. And our staff. Working from home but carrying on. Because we have a lot of work to do. Kim is taking care of our building every day. The Cantor has put the entire Religious School on line, and God bless our Religious School teachers, who we will be honoring at our final T’filah this Sunday morning, for all they are doing to teach our children their aleph’s and their bet’s. Bonnie assures that you receive your Shofar Blast every week and the SHOFAR is delivered to your door each month. Jen Casillo continues to connect with our Preschool Students and, because of her magic, we anticipate a huge increase in enrollment for next year.

The ways we have pivoted and adjusted are remarkable. But equally remarkable is this: life continues. We continue to build for the future. Our Building Committee is hard at work. Our Capital Campaign Committee is hard at work. TBT was just awarded a $30,000 grant from the Community Grant for the Jewish Elderly from the Jewish Foundation of Greater New Haven, to start a new project of connecting our elder generations and our younger ones, a 2-Way L’Dor Vador.

We are preparing to say a fond farewell to Cantor Stanton who has touched all of us these past two years with his kind soul and majestic voice. And we have hired a new Cantor who is bursting with energy and eagerness to meet all of her new B’nai Mitzvah Students and to bring her vision to our Religious School and her spirituality to the bima.

Life continues. So in many ways, this evening is a celebration. It is a celebration of fortitude, of compassion, of determination and proof that ‘coming together’ continues to be at the heart of what we do as a synagogue. We do indeed come together in these unique times as we have done in the past and will continue to do in the future. And so we count our blessings.

Adonai Eloheinu, Adonai our God, we ask for your blessings upon this House of Hope. Bless us with safety and with love. Bless us with patience and with hope, bless us with good health and with peace.

Ken yihi ratzon (Let it be so),
Rabbi Offner

Rabbi's Column - May 2020

Dear Friends,

We are getting good at this. Or not. It has been a good six weeks of isolation now. I recall the first moments as we made step-by-step adjustments to our lifestyles. I think back to the month of February – very easy for me to remember the entire month as Nancy and I were in Florida for the month. It was a time of innocence or maybe better referred to as naiveté. A virus was launching itself to land all over the world but we sat unknowingly in restaurants and at concerts and in places of worship – gathering, as is human to do.

And then came March. I remember those first ‘elbow bumps.’ We thought it was funny. Awkward. Silly even. But we played along and bumped elbows. Would that we could today. Because I had been away in February, we had a huge March line-up of special events and activities at the synagogue. Friday the 13th was to be Men’s Club Shabbat. The guys had prepared diligently. They knew their parts, had prepared the Torah reading, the d’var Torah and all the readings. It wasn’t until the afternoon of the 13th that we started wondering whether we should be gathering together to bring in that Shabbat. We cancelled Men’s Club Shabbat. And the rest is history. The public schools announced that they would not be returning to school that Monday. We cancelled Religious School for that Sunday.

Six weeks later, we have adjusted. We are living our lives remotely. But we are connecting. Even in profound ways.

I am so proud of our synagogue: the staff, the leadership, the volunteers, the members. So much courage. So much vision, And at this Bet Tikvah, this House of Hope, so much hope.

We have managed to turn our entire synagogue into a virtual reality. We have meaningful programs each and every week: Shabbat Services, a live pop-in Oneg that you can come to anytime and schmooze and visit and connect with your TBT family. We even have a Meditation Group that meets successfully on-line! We have assured that all our members have food and masks. We celebrated Passover beautifully with a Zoom Seder (some call it the Zeder), and we put kosher Passover meals complete with all items for your Seder plate, right into the trunks of your cars so you could observe Passover and gain strength from our Jewish traditions.

We have also celebrated births and mourned those who have passed away. More than anything at all, we have honored life. And we will continue to do so because that is what we do.

Today, more than ever, the synagogue has proven its value. Hold it fast. Hold on tight. We are in for a long ride, but we are in it together. And that is precious and priceless.

May God bless you all,
Rabbi Offner

Rabbi's Column - April 2020

Dear Friends,

In a world that is changing so rapidly each and every day, it is hard to imagine where we will be as you read this note.

It is hard to know if we will be climbing further into difficult circumstances, or beginning to see our way out of them. In truth, we probably do know that whatever point we are at on the journey, we are in for a long haul. We are sure to be experiencing fear, fatigue, uncertainty and confusion. We are equally certain to have learned new skills, new ways of coping, new ways of reaching out and new ways of appreciating one another.

We cannot physically touch anymore, but oh how we can continue to touch. Our HELPING HANDS group has mobilized and every person in our congregation should have received a ‘touch.’ We want to go further, too. Technology has been a helpful tool – but not if you are not familiar with technology. If you need a lesson in Facetime or Zoom – our SALTY High School Youth Group kids are eager to give you a one-on-one! Just contact the office and we will arrange it.

We are coming together for Shabbat Services online and for Torah Study every Shabbat morning. We are exploring online Book Groups and other ways to stay engaged.

Nevertheless, though these wonders abound, I am keenly aware that the situation is stressful, anxiety-provoking and disconcerting. The risks to people’s health and people’s lives are serious.

We must continue, each of us, to observe the practices required to keep us all safe. Wash your hands. Use Purell. Keep your physical distance from others, but goodness knows we want to keep very close spiritually and emotionally. I am awed by the human spirit.

We are a resilient species. We will get through this. Not only will we get through this, we will ultimately be better for it. We will be better at humility. We will be better at reaching out. We will be better at perspective, knowing more clearly what is truly important and what is ultimately trivial.

Pesach arrives in just a few days. All our plans for gathering together physically? Cancelled. But the message of Pesach endures. It is a message of overcoming plagues. It is a message of true leaders rising up to lead a fearful people toward freedom and safety.

It is also a message that concludes: “L’Shana Ha’Ba’ah B’Yerushalayim,” “Next year in Jerusalem.” That message has new meaning for us today. It means: let’s make a date for next year. Let’s plan on our future and plan for our future. At TBT, it means we have not CANCELLED our events, we have RESCHEDULED them.

Yes, our in-person programs have been temporarily suspenced, but we are already planning for “L’Shana Ha’Ba’ah, for next year. We ‘cancelled’ our TBT Trip to Spain in April of 2020, but we are already planning for the trip to Spain to happen in April of 2021. We ‘cancelled’ our Scholar-in-Residence Weekend in March, but we have already rescheduled for October 23-24, 2020.

We do not yet know what our Seders will look like this year, but when they end, we will say “L’Shana Ha’Ba’ah B’Yerushalayim.” We will believe with all our heart and soul, “Next Year, in a healthier world and in a better place.”

• Rabbi Offner

Cantor's Column - March 2020

Dear Friends,

Looking at the scroll that we read on Purim – the Megilah scroll or “Megilat Esther” – we see several things that stand out in contrast to the reading of Torah.

Most notably, it doesn’t mention the name (or names) of God. Also, in more traditional Jewish communities, the scroll itself is prepared in advance of the reading by folding it in book-like fashion. Also note that, unlike the Torah, it is one single scroll. It never can be confused with a Torah scroll which is stretched out between two Atzei-Chayim – two “trees” (remember: “it is a tree of life to them that hold fast to it”). The “Megilah” scrolls are often ornate with artwork or even treated like paper art (think laser cards) and encased in beautiful containers. While we adorn the Torahs with beautiful covers, the scroll itself is simple and, aside from the letters, untouched. At TBT we are fortunate to have a few of these Megilah scrolls with their beautiful cases on display in the front display cases. One reason for the elaborate way we treat the Megilah scrolls, aligning with other customs around Purim, is to emphasize the physical aspects of life.

Other Jewish customs and mitzvot that are observed on Purim, such as the giving of mishloach manot, the giving of gifts of food to friends and neighbors, and the giving of tzedakah to those in need, remind us that there are basic needs that must be met in life, but also acknowledging that things can be taken to excess. An example of this can be seen in the hearing of the megilat Esther – the whole megillah, where the custom of imbibing, silliness, and turning many things upside down like the special trope used to chant the Esther’s story and the costumes we wear, and even dressing like the opposite gender is permitted; much like the customs seen in mardi gras keeping with the spirit of the holiday.

There are many Purim-related events going on at TBT the week leading up to Purim and I hope you can be part of some of them including our Purim Shpiel and SALTY carnival on Sunday, March 8th from 11 AM to 1:30 PM.

Also, consider joining us on Erev Purim, Monday, March 9th, 7 – 8 PM, for an Adult Megillah Shpiel. (21+ recommended). Hors d’oeuvres and libations will be served, or feel free to BYOB. In addition, we are looking for three (3) additional adult players for our Purim Shpiel cast on Monday evening. Please contact Cantor Stanton if you are interested and up for the fun!!

Purim Sameach!
Cantor Mark Stanton

Rabbi's Column February 2020

We have the extraordinary opportunity to have the director of the film “From Cairo to the Cloud” join us at TBT as our Scholar-in-Residence this year.

Michelle Paymar is an award winning filmmaker whose credits include documentaries that have appeared on NBC, ABC, CBS and PBS. Earlier films include her pioneering AIDS documentary, “For Our Lives,” and “Sippie,” a documentary (co-directed by Roberta Grossman) about blues artist Sippie Wallace.

“From Cairo to the Cloud” documents the discovery of the Cairo Geniza (a geniza is a receptacle for holy Jewish texts) and its subsequent safeguarding in ’The Cloud’ by a tenacious group of scholars. The Cairo Geniza revolutionized our understanding of Jewish history and illuminated a thousand years of vibrant Jewish life in the heart of the Islamic world.

There is so much to learn from the documents and from the filmmaker. We get to do both at our Scholar-in-Residence Weekend, March 20 -21, 2020.

To a great weekend of discovery!
- Rabbi Offner

Rabbi's Column January 2020

Dear Friends,

January is the coldest month of the year if not, thankfully, the snowiest. I look at the month ahead of us and, with that chill in the air, I look forward to warming up the weeks ahead with special projects and gatherings at TBT.

The first activity that I want to highlight is a very easy way for you to do a huge mitzvah. The State of Israel is preparing right now to host the World Zionist Congress, and your vote can make a real impact on shaping the Israel of the future to be pluralistic and egalitarian. Let me explain:

The World Zionist Congress has been meeting ever since Theodore Herzl established it in Basel, Switzerland in 1897. The Congress is comprised of worldwide Jewry and the United States has a large presence. If we can ALL vote for Reform Jewish delegates to be seated at the Congress, it could mean as much as $20 million dollars slated for projects in Israel that benefit a liberal expression of Judaism and allows for the flourishing of Reform Judaism in Israel. We can do this! Please make a commitment to vote – it will be made simple for you to do so by our fearless ARZA-WZC co-chairs, Mara Weissman and Andrea San Marco. They will be putting ballot information in your inboxes when the time comes to be able to vote. Just be on the lookout and promise to make a wonderful difference for Israel.

Other activities I look forward to in January include teaching a Lunch & Learn, this time on Tuesdays from 12:30 PM - 2 PM with a focus on the book of Genesis and how the actual Hebrew words of the text reveal its meaning.

I also want to mention the Gamerman Film Festival which usually warms us up in January but has moved this year to the month of March. Stay tuned.

The month of January coincides this year with the Hebrew month of Tevet. You may recognize in that Hebrew name the word “Tov” which means “good.” The rabbis consider Tevet to be a good month because, since it is so cold, it causes people to want to seek warmth by being close to one another.

By all means, let us warm each other up during this otherwise cold month of January.

L’Shalom,
Rabbi Offner

Rabbi's Column December 2019

Mondays are my day off. I love Mondays. And no, it’s not exactly because Monday’s are my day off but rather, it is because of what I choose to do with my day off. Every Monday since he has been born, Nancy and I ‘grandmasit’ for our grandson who is now 8 years old. It is the joy of our lives, but don’t take my word for it – just ask any grandparent who gets to take care of their grandchild(ren) and you will know how true it is.

It is a blessing for so many reasons. It is a blessing to be able to help your children, even when they themselves are adults. It is a blessing to be needed and to be able to deliver on that need. It is a blessing to be helpful. And of course, the obvious, it is a blessing to be able to develop a precious relationship with your grandchild.

It is so important for people who are on the older end of the lifecycle to be able to interact with young children. You don’t have to be a grandparent to do so. It sure is one of the precious gifts of being a part of Temple Beth Tikvah. It is home for people of every age and therefore we all have ‘grandchildren’ and ‘grandparents’ right here, even if we don’t have literal grand-family, or if our own grand-family is geographically far away.

It makes me want our children to be able to better interact with our elders, and it makes me want our elders to be better integrated into our programming for children.

We see it at services. Remember the High Holidays? (Not that long ago!) Surely one of the highlights is when the children come up onto the bima and sing “Oseh Shalom.” I don’t think there is a dry eye in the house! All of our elders are enchanted. Our kids are giving them a gift beyond their awareness.

That gift doesn’t have to happen just once a year.

It’s simple. Just consider these options. If you are an adult who is not busy raising your own children, just let me know if you would like to be a “grand-sitter.” Alternatively, if you are a person without any elders in your life, let me know if you would like to strike up a friendship with someone who might be a generation ahead of you.

I am a great matchmaker, and these kind of matches are the best of all.

L’Shalom,
Rabbi

Rabbi's Column November 2019

Dear Friends,

I addressed the issue of anti-Semitism in my sermon on Rosh Hashana morning. I noted that anti-Semitic incidents are on an historic rise in this country and all over the world. We can’t delude ourselves…. that means right here in our sweet Shoreline home as well. One sermon is not enough to counter and respond to this terrible phenomenon. That is why we are committed to addressing the issue of anti-Semitism and of all kinds of hatred directed against the ‘other.’ At the same time we must work together with other faith communities to foster the bonds of mutual respect.

Two important events are upcoming in November. We are most honored to have Tom Scarice, the Superintendent of the Madison Schools (pictured, right), coming to TBT to address important issues about how we teach our children in these difficult times.

I am also honored to participate in an important interfaith program with an Imam and a Priest that is coordinated by the Foote School and open to all.

Please join us for these events and commit to being a part of the solution when it comes to addressing anti-Semitism, racism, Islamophobia, and other hatreds.

L’Shalom,
Rabbi Offner

Rabbi's Column October 2019

OUR HIGH HOLY DAY SEASON CONTINUES…..

YOM KIPPUR: Return, Reflect, Recharge
Kol Nidrei: Tuesday, October 8, 8pm
Morning Service: Wednesday, October 9, 10am
Afternoon Service: Wednesday, October 9, 3:30pm
Break-the-Fast: Wednesday, October 9, ~6:45pm

SUKKOT: Celebrate our Autumnal Bounty Shake the Lulav
Enjoy the Open Sky
Wednesday, October 16 Sukkot Dinner on the Deck and in the Sukkah, 5:15pm
Sukkot Service: 6pm

SIMCHAT TORAH: Unfurl the Torah! Dance with the Torah! Our energetic capstone to the High Holy Days. Sunday, October 20 Simchat Torah Service: 6-7pm
Festive Make-Your-Own Caramel Apples Oneg: 7pm

Rabbi's Column September 2019

Dear Friends,

Curiously enough, the month of September coincides in its entirety with the Jewish month of Elul. September 1, 2019 is also Elul 1, 5779. It means that this entire month is dedicated to preparing for the High Holy Days. What does it mean to prepare? What does Rosh Hashanah mean to you? I find these holidays both exhilarating and utterly exhausting. The exhaustion, I find, is deeply connected to the demand to assess our lives. What is important? What really matters? How am I utilizing this one life that is mine alone?

I want to share some responses to these questions that come straight from the brilliant Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, who served as Chief Rabbi of Great Britain and now writes extensively on Jewish themes.

In the Rosh Hashana Machzor that he edited, he asks: “What does Rosh Hashana say to us? Of what is it a reminder? How can it transform our lives?” He gives responses worth of our reflection this month. They are, in brief:

1. Life is short. However much life expectancy has risen, we will never in one lifetime be able to achieve everything we might wish to achieve.
2. Life itself, each day, every breath we take, is the gift of God. Life is not something we may take for granted.
3. We are free. Judaism is the religion of the free human being freely responding to the God of freedom.
4. Life is meaningful. We are not mere accidents of matter, generated by a universe that came into being for no reason.
5. Life is not easy. Judaism does not see the world through rose-tinted lenses.
6. Life may be hard, but it can still be sweet.
7. Our life is the single greatest work of art we will ever make.

What does Rosh Hashana say to you?

L'shana tova,
Rabbi Offner