Rabbi's Column - October 2021

Dear Friends,

This year, the month of October mostly corresponds to the Hebrew month of Cheshvan. Cheshvan, or Marcheshvan (“bitter” Cheshvan), is devoid of Jewish holidays — hence the bitter nickname the ancient rabbis assigned it.

But there’s nothing bitter about October at TBT! To the contrary: with our autumn holidays in the rearview mirror, there is still so much to look forward to! Our Religious School is off to a terrific start, and our Men’s Club and Kol Ami have an exciting roster of events. Our teens gathered for Confirmation, j-Chat, and their first SALTY event of the year: a “Great Gatsby” - themed Havdalah party!

Furthermore, this is a month of joyful transitions, as I have the privilege of being formally installed as Temple Beth Tikvah’s Rabbi at Shabbat Services on Friday, October 15th. I hope to see many of you in person for a festive outdoor oneg at 5:30pm at Dudley Farm, followed by the service at 6:30pm. Please carefully read the enclosed information about the service, which will take place both in person (advance registration required) and on Zoom.

Finally, we are starting to receive some wonderful responses to the question, “Why be Jewish in 2021?” If you would like to share your thoughts, feel free to send your reflections to whybejewishtbt@gmail.com! In the future we will find forums to share and discuss your thoughtful responses.

October is far and away my favorite month on the secular calendar. The weather is crisp and delightful; the autumn bounty brings us aromas of milled cider and pumpkin pie; and who could possibly deny the exceptional beauty of the New England foliage? Yes, blessings abound in this season of abundance. I am so glad to we can share them together.

תיִׁשאֵרְּב הֶׂשֲעַמ הֶׂשֹוע ,םָלֹועָה ְךֶלֶמ ּוניֵהֹלֱא הָוֹהְי הָּתַא ְךּורָּב

Baruch Atah Adonai - Oseh Ma’aseh B’reishit.

Blessed are You, Eternal God, for the miracles of creation!

Bivracha (Blessings),
Rabbi Moss

President's Column - September 2021

Dear Friends,

The Jewish New Year always has me reflecting on my intentions for the upcoming year and what can be accomplished and changed within it. At the same time, it corresponds to the new school year, and I watch my children and their teachers do the same. They attempt to begin again while continuing to deal with the realities of the day.

Driving my youngest into her first day of school, we were welcomed by teachers standing outside, a bubble machine and loud music. I had to smile at the thought that went into welcoming children back in another pandemic year when we had hoped it was all in the rear view mirror. They were doing their best to make school a friendly, welcoming place. However, as we got closer, I could hear the music more clearly and I caught my breath. The song that happened to be on when I dropped her off? “Drive into the Danger Zone.” I kid you not. I let her out as they were blaring “Drive into the Danger Zone. Gonna take you right into the Danger Zone!” Oy.

Driving home I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry. For how many of us have experienced the exact same thing? We and others try so hard in this pandemic to do the right thing (Wear a mask, don’t wear a mask? Hug and shake or say hello from a distance? Meet in person for services or spend another one on Zoom). And, yet, often the right thing feels like the wrong thing to someone else. And while we have given our decision a lot of thought (like the teachers who said, we will play some music!) we often fall short of our goals (as the kids face the “Danger Zone”).

TBT has felt those same conflicting goals. We want to be together in large groups to welcome our new Rabbi, celebrate the High Holidays and for many other gatherings and, yet, for the sake of our community, we often cannot. Despite it all, the one message that isn’t conflicted is that we are a community at TBT and we will do whatever we can to help all of our members (and soon to be or potential members) come together and support one another.

To that end, we have not stopped building our new space to welcome all of us in the very near future. While that may seem like a conflicted message as we meet for the High Holidays on Zoom, we believe we are continuing to build for our future, for a day very soon where we will come together in our new building to do the wonderful work of the community. After all, we are the “House of Hope!” We understand that our work today will benefit us all into the future.

We look forward to the day very soon when we do not have any conflicting messages, and our doors are once again open wide (with technology to support those who are at home). In the meantime, please know how much all of the members of the Board, the clergy and staff appreciate your efforts and support during this time, and how much we look forward to being together again, in our new building, in the new year ahead.

Shana Tova,
Sarah Mervine

Rabbi's Column - September 2021

Dear Friends,

Amidst the hubbub of Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur, we sometimes minimize our other autumn holidays: Sukkot, Shemini Atzeret, and Simchat Torah. Yet Sukkot, our time of bounty and building, has never been more relevant for us. And not just because we can gather safely together outside. Please allow me to explain.

Rosh HaShanah, as we know, comes first in our holiday sequence. At Rosh HaShanah we envision the world as we wish it to be. “Hayom harat olam,” we read in the prayer book: “today the world is [literally] pregnant” with potential. Everything is possible.

And yet, ten days later, we confront the world as it is: beautiful, but broken; in need of repair. The same is true of our relationships and ourselves. So, we live briefly but quite intensely in the gap between the ideal and the real. We begin to make amends and confront the work that lies ahead. Then, just after ne’ilah, we begin to rebuild. Some drive the first nails into the sukkah that evening to symbolize that their rebuilding begins immediately.

Rabbi Irwin Kula teaches us to question why we “hire” the Jewish holidays? How can they help and guide us through life’s journey? In 5782, these Days of Awe are like a mirror that reflects the jarring fits and starts of our pandemic-challenged world. We gaze into that mirror and discern the gap between the world we wish for and the one we’ve got. A post-Covid world is visible, yet distant. The sadness we feel at delayed arrivals should stir us to build toward that world. Reflecting on the year gone by helps us appreciate the magnitude of this struggle, and also the progress we have made so far.

Each year we spiral around the Jewish calendar and find ourselves somewhere different, but perhaps not as different as we had hoped. Yet — and Judaism is unambiguous about this — change is always possible. We’ve all heard ‘two steps forward, one step back.’ If we focus exclusively on the one step, it looks like we’re only going backwards. But it isn’t so.

True, we must notice the gap. But only to inspire us to get to work. The holiday of Sukkot, then, reminds us of all we might build in the year to come: healthy personal choices, stronger relationships, growth toward our goals, and even, heaven-willing, wonderful new synagogue spaces to call our very own.

Moadim L’simcha - may the autumn holidays bring joy to you and your families.

Rabbi Danny Moss

President's Column - Summer 2021

It is a summer of changes for all, and most especially TBT.  While our towns slowly open up as many are vaccinated and the summer allows us to go outdoors and see one another again, TBT is also going through its own metamorphosis in so many ways.

The first, and most obvious, is the physical structure.  We are in the middle of the renovation project, and you can drive by and see the framing of the new areas.  Things are coming together, and we hope to have our new building ready by the end of 2021, and a sanctuary before then.  We look forward to the day, very soon, where we can be together in our new space.

The Capital Campaign is also changing, as we are getting closer to our goal.  Many have given to make this building a reality and we are grateful for all of the support we have received from our wonderful congregants.  Most recently we had a matching gift of up to $750,000 and to date we have raised over $150,000 towards that match.  Things are going so well that the matching gift has been extended through the summer and up until the first day of Rosh Hashanah!  If you are able to give during this time, we appreciate it, as your gift will be matched dollar for dollar.

Finally, the biggest change is that our beloved Rabbi Offner is now our beloved Rabbi Emerita, and she and we are thrilled to welcome Rabbi Danny Moss this summer.  Rabbi Moss was a unanimous choice of our committee and of all who met him during the interview process.  He is a natural fit for TBT, and we are so happy to welcome him and his wife, Rabbi Susan Landau Moss, into the congregation.  He brings with him fresh ideas but also a deep respect for what we have built here.  I am sure you are as excited to meet him as I am to introduce him to our whole community, so please look through this shofar and sign up for one of the many meet and greets with him, or stop by at the next service.  We cannot wait to see what Rabbi Moss will add to our community! 

The one thing that hasn’t changed this summer is that the TBT community, while separated over the past year, has continued to maintain our ties and our connection.  I can’t wait to be together again soon, which will surely be the best change of all!

- Sarah Mervine

Rabbi's Column - Summer 2021

Dear Friends,

This is a season of transitions. Summer has arrived, and with it, a new sense of possibility. We are stepping out more and socializing with family and friends face-to-face. As I write this, my social media feed is full of smiles: kids arriving at summer camp for the first time in two years! Although much has changed, ‘“normal life” is finally starting to feel within reach.

As you know, this is also a time of significant transition for TBT. I am so deeply honored to serve as your new rabbi, effective July 1st. Many people have been working behind the scenes to make this transition a smooth one: Marlene Schwartz and Karen Goldberg, our Transition Committee Co-Chairs; Sarah Mervine; and my staff and clergy partners: Kim, Bonnie, and Cantor Boyle. I’d especially like to recognize Rabbi Offner. Over the course of many months she has been both generous with her time and gracious in welcoming me as her successor.

I hope you’ll indulge me in a few words of introduction. My wife Susan (pictured with me, below) and I recently relocated to the Shoreline from Norwalk, where we have lived for the last four years while I served a congregation in Westport. Susan, who is also a rabbi, works as a chaplain on the palliative care team at Bridgeport Hospital. We look forward to getting to know you throughout the summer.

In fact, I hope to meet as many families as possible before the High Holy Days! To that end, please consider attending one of the many gatherings we have planned for July and August. Some meetings are scheduled for the daytime, and others at night; some will take place in congregants’ homes and still others will convene on zoom. We hope you’ll find a time and location that aligns with your family’s needs. If you can’t, though, just send an email to Bonnie and we’ll find another time.

As we enter an era that feels at once familiar and brand new, many of us are following the building renovation progress eagerly. Although the timeline for completion has changed slightly from the initial estimate, our professional staff and RAC volunteers have been working diligently to find solutions for both in-person and online access which will give honor and sanctity to our holiest time of year. Rest assured: our High Holy Day observances will be wonderful, meaningful, and spiritually revitalizing.

Transitions can be challenging, but they are also full of tremendous promise. As we prepare to open the book of life for the upcoming Hebrew year of 5782, I feel blessed to be starting a new chapter, together.

Bivracha (Blessings),
Rabbi Danny Moss

President's Column - June 2021

For those of you who were able to attend the Annual Meeting, you heard how TBT has been charging ahead in these difficult times and is doing quite well. We are on stable footing financially, our membership is growing as others move into this area, we have a thriving Preschool thanks to our amazing director and teachers, and have managed to hold Religious School, programs, and services throughout the year. Our Capital Campaign has raised just over 5 million dollars and has received a matching gift of $750,000 to see what can be raised by June 30, 2021. Many of you have answered that match and we have raised $100,000 ($200,000 with the match) towards that goal!

In short, I am proud of our progress and our ability to come together this year. However, if you were at the meeting you may have also heard the not entirely surprising news that our building renovation, while progressing nicely, will be slightly delayed.

What does this delay mean for us? Luckily for the Preschool, Religious School and Administrative wing, it should not affect anything. These areas will be complete by August 2021, so there will be plenty of time for inspections and licensing before the new school year begins. There will be small areas, such as the new entrance, that are not quite done, but everything will be up and running for a new year, where, we hope, we can come into the building and see one another.

Our sanctuary should be ready for a “sneak peek” and also services by October 15, 2021, the date of Rabbi Moss’s installation. It won’t be perfect, but we should be able to be together on that Friday night and every Friday night after that.

While the building won’t be complete for High Holiday services, our Religious Activities Committee and clergy are already beginning to plan so that, come what may, we will figure out a good way to all celebrate and observe together. Look for those plans to come out in the near future.

As the world slowly starts to open up again, TBT is going to do the same. I look forward to seeing you all in the upcoming year – it has been a long time of being physically away from one another. In the meantime, if you still have questions, I welcome you to reach out and ask Bruce Topolosky, the Facilities Chair, or me. We’ve been waiting a long time for this future and I am so excited that it is almost here!

Sarah Mervine

Rabbi's Column - June 2021

Note: These remarks were offered by Rabbi Offner at the Annual Meeting on May 19th:

Dear Friends,

“The year in review.” My goodness. In my 37 years in the rabbinate, I have never gasped at that phrase as I do this year, the year of the greatest pandemic to ever hit us. This has, beyond doubt, been the most difficult year of my career – and yes, for those of you who were there for my Jewish Journey – more difficult than any challenge I have ever faced before.

And yet. “Af al pi chen.” We Jews are so good at staring down horrors that we have a phrase for it. “Af al pi chen” we say: NEVERTHELESS.

NEVERTHELESS, Temple Beth Tikvah has just walked through one of the greatest years in our history. We have broken ground on a new building. We have raised millions of dollars to assure that there will be a tomorrow as well as a yesterday for Jewish life on the Shoreline. We have welcomed a new Cantor, hired entirely on Zoom back in the day when we all thought that ‘zoom’ was a word we used to describe what airplanes do as they fly overhead. And that Cantor, God bless her, has flourished and taught and guided, beyond our greatest expectations.

And Kim Romine. There are no words. Stalwart, faithful, devoted tirelessly and effectively to all things TBT.

And oh yes, also one year ago: Sarah Mervine said ‘yes’ to the call to be president of TBT. She did so before “Covid” was a word in our vocabulary. Sarah Mervine, unbeknownst to her, inherited a building project, a capital campaign, a cantor transition and oh why not throw in a rabbi transition, and a COVID lockdown. Sarah: you have been my partner in all things in every way. You have selflessly, tirelessly, courageously, led our synagogue during this year of all years. YOU are amazing. And it has surely been one of the greatest gifts for me, to top off my rabbinate with getting to work side by side with you. Thank you.

In the midst of all the pandemic challenges, there have been blessings. Serious blessings that I hope we will take with us into the future. One: we have discovered the out-of-doors. KOL AMI has brought hiking into our Jewish lives. Services have been taken outside. Classes meet outside. Bar & Bat Mitzvahs are under tents. The Israelites in the desert first gathered under tents to seek God’s presence and now we know why. I haven’t met a Bar or Bat Mitzvah family all year long that hasn’t been grateful for the forced simplicity of their events. It has given them permission to focus on the truly important part of becoming B’nei Mitzvah.

This has also been a year of far more intentional connectedness. Through Helping Hands, first envisioned and established by Steve Eppler-Epstein, and the 2-Way L’Dor VaDor program that has been brilliantly steered by Donna Fedus, we have learned that “kol yisrael aravin zeh-ba-zeh,’ “all Israel is connected one to the other.” Just two more thoughts and then I will stop.

One: we have accepted technology into our events. What was once unseemly is now holy. Burying our loved ones and being able to live-stream from the cemetery, or getting married under the chupah and having grandparents who can’t travel able to attend, and my favorite example: I actually did a Brit Shalom, a baby-naming, where the parents and their baby were in Australia, one set of grandparents were in Montreal, the other grandparents were in Tel Aviv, and the proud aunt was here in Connecticut. These are nothing short of miracles and they not only helped us during a pandemic, they changed us and the way we practice Judaism, for the better.

And finally: we have witnessed a return to what has always been the central sanctuary of Jewish life: the home. I have watched each of you take charge of your Jewish lives. And that is a good thing. Rabbis are not meant to be in charge. We Jews do not believe in intermediaries. Rather, we believe in “Torah, Avodah and Gemilut Chasadim.” We believe in growing and stretching ourselves and doing acts of kindness. God bless you all, this has been a year of growing in Torah and envigorating our worship and doing countless acts of love & kindness. TBT can surely look to the future, as we open a new building and welcome a new rabbi, with gusto and enthusiasm.

Rabbi Stacy Offner

President's Column - May 2021

Spring is in the air and so, at TBT, that means the Annual Meeting is just around the corner. Whether you are someone who has NEVER missed an Annual Meeting or you are someone asking “what is that?” here are the top 10 reasons you will want to join us for this one on May 19, 2021 at 7:00 PM:

1. Rabbi Offner will give her State of TBT address, so you can catch up in about 15 minutes on anything you missed this year.

2. You can hear the new Board of Directors slate, meet everyone who is running and, if there are any open positions, you could even sign up at the last minute! Or just start planning for the position you will take on in the future.

3. You will learn everything that is going on with the building renovation and even see pictures. Yes, even though we aren’t there to see it, the building renovation is progressing nicely and should be complete about the time we are ready to begin in-person activities. You will learn how we are on our way to completing a renovation that will make TBT full of light and sound, accessible to all and with space for the community, our preschool and our Religious School for many years to come.

4. You will hear about our Capital Campaign and find out how far along we are to date.

5. You may get a sneak peek at our soon-to-be new rabbi, Rabbi Moss!

6. You can hear which talented student won this year’s Freisner Scholarship.

7. You can hear which congregant won the Kavod Award (and it could be YOU, so you better be there to be congratulated!).

8. You can ask any questions you have about this past year, the year coming up or share any thoughts you have about TBT.

9. You can see lots of friendly faces that you have missed this year.

10. The best part – come learn it all from the comfort of your home as we will do it again on Zoom!

Hope to see you all there!
- Sarah

Rabbi's Column - May 2021

Rabbi Stacy Offner will share her Jewish Journey Thursday May 13th at 7:30 PM via Zoom.

Rabbi Offner is next up in TBT’s Jewish Journey Series. All TBT congregants are welcome to attend as Rabbi Offner tells us about her upbringing and what led to her choice to become a Rabbi, what it was like to be one of the few women in rabbinical school, and how she experienced being the first openly gay rabbi in a mainstream synagogue in the USA. Rabbi Offner has been a pioneer in the rabbinate in many ways and is taking this time, before her retirement, to reflect upon her Jewish Journey. This will be her gift to us. Be prepared to be inspired.

REGISTER by email office@tbtshoreline.org or call TBT (203) 245-7028

Sponsored by: 2 Way L’Dor V’Dor • Kol Ami • Men’s Club. • Farewell Committee

This program is made possible, in part, by Temple Beth Tikvah’s 2 Way L’Dor V’Dor program, with support from a Community Grant for the Jewish Elderly from the Jewish Foundation of Greater New Haven. The project aims to increase opportunities for social connection and intergenerational understanding by inviting congregants of all ages to interact.

The program will be recorded and may be shared. Please keep your camera off if you prefer not to have your image recorded.

Save June 9 at 7:30 PM for the next Jewish Journey program featuring Irv Schloss.

Save June 18 at 7:15 PM for Rabbi Offner’s Farewell Service.

President's Column - April 2021

Like all of us, I have been thinking a lot these days about what it means to be at home for a year and looking back at how much we have learned about forming community while we are isolated. At TBT alone we now know how to hold virtual meetings, services, seders, movie nights, installations, book clubs and more. We “chat” with each other easily, go into breakout rooms, and we share our screens as if we were peering at the computer screen together. After a full year, look how far we have come! And while I mostly feel great about all we done, I have to admit that I also feel regret.

After all, well before the pandemic plenty of people we know and love had been stuck at home already, living lives away from us. Growing up in synagogue, or maybe just looking around you at TBT, you probably all know people who were pillars of the community, regulars at Torah Study or services or committees until, one day, they couldn’t be. Either through illness, frailty, old age, transportation or other issues, they became people who used to come to everything but now simply couldn’t.

And that, pretty much, was that. Once in a while a friend or relative might bring the person to something, but mostly that was the end of their connection to the community, save for a few visits to them. And we accepted that. And so did they.

Until we were ALL isolated and ALL became that person who was stuck at home. Then we immediately looked for and found ways to be included – Zoom services, Google Meet, Facetime. Yes, technology helped us, but some of that technology was available before the pandemic. We just weren’t always thinking about how to bring events to others because they were, well, others. Not us.

There were glimmers. We tried a live stream of High Holidays a year ago that was very well received. Now, however, there are more than glimmers. We know how to reach out to everyone and we are committed to doing so.

And so, if you are lucky enough to be able to return to TBT one day soon, for Religious School, services or (maybe!) a going away party for a beloved Rabbi, we are so happy to have you back! However, if you aren’t that lucky, do not worry. We hope to live stream, upload to YouTube or have “hybrid” events so all will be there. Zoom doesn’t have to be a thing of the past for those who need it; our new building should support all of these connections.

The biggest thing I have learned from this pandemic is if we are thoughtful and work a little harder, we can reach out to a number of people who can’t physically make it into our new building, beautiful though it may be. We will figure out how to include those members of the community who are ill or frail or maybe just live somewhere warm for half of the year! So, while I look forward to one day soon seeing many of you in person, I also look forward to including all of you, and others out there waiting to join, who will not be left out again.

Sarah Mervine