Dear Friends,
I recently had a conversation with a friend that reminded me how differently people think. This woman was feeling very dissatisfied with work and was under a lot of stress trying to decide if she should quit. She had gone to her son’s sporting event and while waiting for the game to end had spoken about this to another parent. The next day that parent showed up at her house with a dinner she had made for my friend “since she was going through a hard time.” What a nice thing to do, right?
Well, my friend was livid and embarrassed, and this act of kindness sent her into a spiral. She felt pathetic, pitied, and as she said, "felt like punching this woman in the face.” Luckily, she did not act on this impulse. This story reminds me that what I need and appreciate is not necessarily what others need and appreciate.
I bring this up because Temple Beth Tikvah is embarking on a new initiative, called Chesed - the Hebrew word for kindness or love between people. During the first year of the pandemic Rabbi Offner reached out to congregants asking for “helping hands.” There was an outpouring of support to help people with groceries, meals, camaraderie, etc.
I believe you shouldn’t need a pandemic for our congregation to spread kindness and love. Amy Lee and Leslie Hyman are leading the efforts - one we hope will become a foundational value of TBT. We had our initial meeting with 10 members and have come up with a first step. You all will receive a survey to inform our group about our community’s most important needs. Some ideas we have brainstormed are providing meals when a family member is sick or has passed away, driving people who need a ride, providing companionship to people who may need a friend, babysitting for overworked parents that need a break, and on and on. Those were OUR thoughts but more importantly we want to know YOURS. We will also be asking if you are willing to join our efforts.
We are going to need more people to help us with this project. My concern, however, is not a lack of people wanting to help but people feeling shy or embarrassed to ask for assistance. Therefore, I remind you that it is a mitzvah to do acts of loving kindness, but I believe that it is even more of a MITZVAH to receive assistance when needed. It makes you vulnerable, but it is just this genuine vulnerability that opens us to true connections with our TBT family. Learning to receive is a gift to ourselves but also a gift to the giver. There is no greater feeling for me than that sense that I have made someone else’s day easier and brighter. Therefore, it is a win/win situation.
So please, fill out the questionnaire when you receive it and if you feel inspired to participate feel free to email Amy Lee amyjolee22@gmail.com or Leslie Hyman lch711@aol.com.
May we all be givers and receivers and may Chesed always be the culture of Temple Beth Tikvah.
Blessings,
Karen Goldberg