President's Column - February 2023

Dear Friends,

In my column last month, I spoke about the strength of TBT coming from our members and their dedication to our community.  That was on clear display this weekend.  For those of you who missed it, the TBT Kulanu group hosted a community discussion about antisemitism.  We had tables and chairs set up for 120 people. 

The night before the event when I spoke to Harry Schanzer (my Dad and chair of the Kulanu Working Group), he admitted that he was worried “about the numbers.”  I asked, “too many or too few?”  He said, “too few.”  WRONG answer!!! 

We had more than 300 people from the Shoreline show up to learn how to combat antisemitism.  It was truly emotional and uplifting to see so many congregants, neighbors, friends, teens, politicians, clergy, educators, and allies come together against hate.  It made me proud to be Jewish, proud to be a member of Temple Beth Tikvah, and proud to live on the CT shoreline. 

After listening to Stacy Sobel, CT ADL Director, discuss what the ADL is doing to fight hate, two TBT congregants spoke of their own experiences with antisemitism.  Thank you to Maya Daniels, our courageous middle schooler, and the eloquent  Susan Ottenheimer, daughter of founding members of TBT.  We then broke into groups of ten to talk about our own experiences with hate or antisemitism.  In just my small group I heard about a landlord saying, “don’t go to that pool, that’s where the Jews go.”  Someone else told the story of leaving her job after her manager told her to “not market to the Jews” and the lawsuit that followed.  A third member talked about his struggle when he found out someone he does business with is a Holocaust denier. 

These were powerful stories that made me think about how I would respond in these situations and how I would want my children to react.  If we truly believe NEVER AGAIN, we must act. 

Step one is realizing that there is no place for hate and there is no such thing as a “microaggression.”  A racist joke is not funny, a Jewish slur is not “just a saying,” a homophobic comment is never OK, and speaking up is our duty. 

Kulanu means all of us. And it will take all of us to continue the mission to confront and fight antisemitism in our world.  This forum was only the first that our team is planning.  We look forward to many more.  I would like to thank the Kulanu task force - Harry Schanzer, Rabbi Moss, Kim Romine, Rosemary Baggish, Nancy Fliss, Irma Grebel, Louis King, and Andrea SanMarco – for their initiative, hours of planning, dedication, and leadership.

Karen Goldberg

President's Column - January 2023

Hello Friends,

I don’t need to tell any of you that TBT has gone through A LOT of change over the last few years. Allow me to list some of them: we had the COVID disruption, a building renovation, a new rabbi, a new cantorial soloist/educator, and a new preschool director, and now we are searching for a replacement for Bonnie, our administrative assistant. Any one of these events would have been enough to devastate a synagogue; however, I will argue that Temple Beth Tikvah is thriving.

Nationwide, many synagogues are shrinking after the pandemic, yet our membership has been stable. Our preschool is full and has a waiting list. Religious school children are busy learning and are making friends. Our SALTY teens are engaged and filled with RUACH, going to BBYO events locally and nationally. The men’s group gets together to cook, discuss important issues, gathering for spiritual events with the rabbi, and build our Sukkah. Kol Ami women are hiking, participating in ceremonies, tasting wine, watching movies, and celebrating the new moon. The new Kulanu steering committee is organizing events to combat antisemitism with more and more volunteers that want to help. Torah Study is well attended and filled with good natured opinionated people. Shabbat services are now back in our building, and it is inspiring to see so many people joining together in prayer and song in our downstairs space. Finally. I am proud to say that we have now raised more than 7 million dollars in our capital campaign, and we are not done yet. . .

So why is Temple Beth Tikvah flourishing during all these challenges? I have often considered this lying awake at 2 AM worrying about the next crisis. . . and this is what I have come up with. TBT is thriving because of YOU, because of US. We are not about a fancy building, or even about our amazing clergy, staff, or teachers. TBT is about a group of 300 families that love our community and are willing to donate time and money to make sure that our community continues to grow and thrive, not only for ourselves but for our children and our children’s children, L’dor v’dor. As the Talmud says, “As my parents planted for me before I was born, so do I plant for those who will come after me.” We are literally and figuratively planting for our children.

As both a parent and a pediatrician, my goal is to help raise resilient children who can respond to change and hardship. As the temple president, I am relieved to know that our synagogue community has done just that. Temple Beth Tikvah is resilient, flexible, and strong. Thank you for making it so.

Karen Goldberg
President

President's Column - December 2022

Hello Friends,

I am currently writing this piece from an Orlando hotel room. I am attending my first in-person medical conference in over three years. What a gift it is to be able to escape the clinical craziness of flu, RSV, croup and Covid and to be able to spend five calm days just learning. I would like to share some of my new-found medical knowledge with you.

The title of one of my lectures today was "Non-Pharmacological Interventions for Mental Health Conditions". The lecturer listed seven healthy habits that are not only protective against mental illness but can also help to treat people already suffering from anxiety and depression. These include getting enough sleep, exercising, developing and maintaining friendships, good nutrition, practicing mindfulness and relaxation, spending time in green spaces, and decreasing time on screens (especially social media).

I thought about this list and how it pertains to my life habits. How do you measure up? Don’t worry, I have good news for you. Temple Beth Tikvah is here to help. Do you not get enough sleep, and are you unable to relax? Try out Jewish Mindfulness and Meditations sessions on Saturday mornings. Do you not spend enough time outside exercising? Join the Kol Ami hikers on the trails every weekend. Want to make new friends or to strengthen old friendships? Come to our Men’s Group, join the Book Club, try our Torah Study. Want some nutrition? Come to the Temple during Sunday school and eat and schmooze with other parents, stay for an oneg, or join us after Friday night services for one of our new Shabbat dinners at local restaurants.

And speaking of Shabbat, try to turn off your phone, distance yourself from social media, and experience the joy of singing and praying together. During these stressful times, TBT is just what the doctor ordered. And I won’t even charge you a copay.

Hope to see you soon,
Karen Goldberg

President's Column - Fall 2022

Dear Friends,

A few months ago, I wrote my first president’s column. I told the story of meeting with Rabbi Alpert when I was feeling uninvolved in Judaism, unconnected with TBT and just exhausted. spoke about how he inspired me to do one small thing regularly to get the “spark” of Judaism back in my life. After Rabbi Offner read my piece, she asked me if she could send it to Rabbi Alpert. I agreed, a little embarrassed that I had not thought of tracking him down myself. This was his response. “I am leaving for Israel tomorrow and I don’t think I will need an airplane to fly there.”

 Not only did I make his day brighter, but whenever I think of that response, it fills me with happiness and makes me smile. Gratitude is a two-way street. It makes the giver and the beneficiary feel better. In fact, there are studies that show that keeping a gratitude journal daily is as effective a treatment as antidepressant medication. So, with these days of reflection upon us, let us think about what we are grateful for and whom we are grateful for. Let’s not forget to let those people know.

I will go first. . . I would like to thank all the great Rabbis who have helped shape my life. Being

president has taught me one thing for sure: being a Rabbi is a 24 hours / 7 day a week job and it is hard. I would like to thank Rabbi Moss for his unending work and dedication to our synagogue. Starting his career as a senior Rabbi during a pandemic, during a renovation project, and a Cantor search has been a huge challenge. Just one of these things (dayenu) would have been enough. His persistence and love for TBT is clear. I am honored to partner with him.

L'Shana Tova,
Karen Goldberg

President's Column - Summer 2022

Hello TBT,

Approximately 11 years ago I was sitting through a high holy day service. Rabbi Tom Alpert, TBT’s interim Rabbi, was leading us in prayer. At that time, I had a demanding job and a 10-, 8-, and 6-year-old. I felt like I was barely treading water.

I was listening to the sermon which must have meant that the kids were downstairs with the SALTY teens. Some of you may remember the sermon, it was about feeling inspired by Judaism. He used the words, “feeling the spark.” I remember this clearly because it made me feel sad. As a child and teen, I had felt that spark. I loved being in youth group and loved my Jewish summer camp. Rowdy song sessions, outside Shabbat services, Israeli dancing, meaningful discussions, rallying for Soviet Jews, going on a NIFTY trip to Israel, etc. . . . made me feel great about being Jewish. However, at this time in my life, sending my kids to Hebrew school and going to a few services a year felt like I was just checking off an obligatory box.

I made an appointment to talk to Rabbi Alpert. I told him about my feelings and how his sermon had resonated with me. I explained that I wanted to be more involved but felt drained and didn’t have the time. We had a long discussion and I remember him telling me that it was ok. This may not be the time in my life when I can dedicate a lot of time to the synagogue. He did however advise me to find one small thing I can do regularly to rekindle that spark. I started picking up Challah on my way home from work on Friday evenings. That was it, that was what I could manage.

Now here I am 11 years later writing my first column as your temple president. I now feel very satisfied with my Jewish immersion. I have found community at TBT. I am so grateful to feel that inspiration while praying on Friday nights, while hiking in the woods and even while participating in temple board meetings. It all feels holy and I am all in.

! I share this story because I know many of you may feel the same way I did 11 years ago. I am here to say, that is OK. It may not be your time. . . or it may be the perfect time. Find one small activity: maybe social justice, maybe a service, maybe a hike, maybe torah study, or maybe just pick up a Challah. You never know where that one thing will lead.

Blessings,
Karen Goldberg

President's Column - June 2022

Dear Friends,

This will mark my last article as President of TBT. On July 1, Karen Goldberg will step up and become the president, along with an amazing Board of Directors. That Board consists of many brand new Board members alongside some who have served TBT well over the years. We are lucky to have all of these leaders willing and ready to help TBT and I am grateful to each and every one of them for signing up for next year.

While it has been an extraordinary two years, I feel happy to say to all of you that TBT has such a bright future ahead. And not just in the distant future! We will soon have our own newly renovated building and we will gather there once again like we used to before the world turned upside down. And even before it is fully done we will continue to meet and be together and look for opportunities to see each other all summer. One such opportunity is just around the corner – the scholar in residence. Maybe we will see each other there,

One thing I can say for sure after these two years is how many wonderful and energetic people – clergy, staff, and countless volunteers -- it takes to make a temple run! And we are lucky to have so many of those people! These people do their part with willing hearts and open hands and do not ask for anything in return, except that the temple community continue to thrive. They are the backbone that hold us all up and we are so fortunate that our backbone is strong. At the same time, we are fortunate to have all of our members, who make up the heart and soul of the place.

As I have said before, even when you aren’t at TBT, you are part of the reason that it is doing so well. Because of you, we had countless B’Nai Mitzvah over the last two years, we helped people mourn, we helped people celebrate, we studied, we sang, we taught our big kids and our little kids, we prayed, we supported refugees and other people in need, and we have helped one another in countless ways.

For me and for my family, I thank you for being part of TBT every day and for helping to make it the inclusive and welcoming place it has always been. I am excited to sit back on the sidelines and watch all of the ways it will continue to grow and thrive into the future.

B’Shalom,
Sarah

President's Column - May 2022

Dear Friends,

When I was a law student living on a shoe-string budget in Chicago, I used to attend a Modern Orthodox Synagogue. Why was a student who grew up in Conservative Judaism and leaned towards all Reform ideas going to a Modern Orthodox Synagogue? While it was true that the Rabbi there was amazing, the reason was really simple: money. I simply did not have any extra money to join a synagogue or pay for High Holiday tickets and the Modern Orthodox Synagogue let everyone in for free.

Had I lived here in Madison, I could have attended Temple Beth Tikvah, where the Rabbis are also amazing. Why? Because, from the beginning, TBT has been committed to allowing anyone to become a member, no matter how much that person could pay. I would have been a full member at no cost.

No cost to me, that is. In order to offer this service on the Shoreline – this service of letting all who want to come in come – there is a cost. There is a cost to running our building, paying our staff, cleaning our floors, keeping the lights on. That cost is simply subsidized by TBT, by the members who are here who say: it is important that I be able to join and it is important to me that anyone who wants to be able to join can as well.

Perhaps, you, like me, were once or are now able to worship because of other synagogue members and you know how good it feels to have a place to go and worship. Or perhaps you weren’t helped out, and you felt how hard it was to pay to join. Many of us know both of these things to be equally true: it costs a lot to run a synagogue but if it costs so much that many cannot join there is no point to that synagogue.

That is why TBT is starting a new campaign this summer and fall, “sponsor a member.” As many have gone through hard times financially, we are stepping up our aid to make sure not one member leaves TBT due to finances and all who want to become members can do so. How to help? It is simple. When you get your dues pledges, check “yes, I will sponsor a member” and add the amount you are willing to pay, or pay the full additional membership if you can. Those payments will go towards any members who cannot pay the full amount or cannot pay anything at all.

We hope this program will not only help keep the lights on, it will help show every non-affiliated person on the Shoreline (and many current members) that we welcome them, and not for their money. That we are committed to this community and to one another in every way.

Thanks, in advance, for your help in welcoming all to TBT.
Sarah Mervine

President's Column - April 2022

Dear Friends,

Given some of the darkness we have seen in the world as of late, I have been thinking a lot about light. How to shine a light on things we need to change, how to be a light for others, and how to feel some of that brightness ourselves. As we all know, the very first step in creation was to “[l]et there be light” and everything followed from there.

I do feel proud of the light so many of our congregants are bringing to TBT and to the world in many ways. Some of you are thinking up creative ways to collect money for Ukraine, others of you have organized a vigil in support, while still others have attended that vigil. Some of you are building houses again for Raise the Roof, others of you are teaching our children, and many, many of you are taking advantage of TBT’s educational offerings to spark your own inner light.

It was fitting, then, as I have been focused on this light, that Kim Romine called me up the other day and said “you have to come in and see the light in our new building!.” This wasn’t any figurative light, but the actual light streaming in from all sides as the new building takes shape.

At Kim’s urging, I came in for a recent tour. I have toured the building many, many times, but, Kim was right, the light flowing into the new space now is unbelievable. For the first time she and I could see the space we will soon have that we have been promising for so long – a space full of light and hope.

If you haven’t had a chance to partake of some of the “figurative” light at TBT, I invite you to join our Social Justice efforts, come to services, come to second seder or come to TBT as we hand out some goodies for Passover. If you haven’t had a chance to partake of our literal light, I invite you to do that too! Come sign up for a quick tour and see what we have in store for our near future.

As the saying goes when faced with dark times: better to light a candle than to curse the darkness. Thank you for being part of TBT and helping to foster this light in so many different ways!
- Sarah Mervine

President's Column - March 2022

Dear TBT Family,

What makes a sanctuary? Reading the book of Exodus over the past several weeks, we’ve encountered details about the ancient Israelite sanctuary, the mishkan. The section begins with Moses collecting gifts of gold, silver, acacia wood, fine linen and more, in order to furnish it beautifully. Reading this section in Torah study, we remarked that this was the very first capital campaign in Jewish History!

And, as with the Capital Campaign, we quickly learn that the more interesting question becomes not what makes a sanctuary but who. In the Torah, no one is instructed to give. Rather, Moses is instructed to collect gifts from every Israelite whose “heart is moved…” – in Hebrew, asher yidvenu libo. G-d does not command participation; rather, the Israelites had faith that everyone would do their part.

So, too, with TBT. No one is commanded to give; only those whose “hearts are moved” need do it. For those of us who have been the “collectors” we stand in awe and appreciation of the more than 70% of our congregation who have helped us to raise nearly $6.5 million of our $8 million goal. We wonder if Moses felt the same – appreciation for how generous the people were, how willing to help the community, how much they gave from their own resources to make sure the community would thrive. Each gift touches us not only because it gets us closer to our goal, but because it gives us confidence in the future of our community and the people who are working so hard to secure its stability.

We read further in the Torah about the artisans Betzalel and Ohalieb, who designed the mishkan not only to make it functional, but also beautiful. We are similarly grateful for the ongoing work of our interior design committee, whose labors will make our renovated spaces beautiful and special – truly a place we can call home for the next generation. As you drive by our campus, you can already see the progress taking shape on the exterior of the building and on our grounds. In the coming weeks, we plan to offer tours of the interior so that you can see the amazing progress for yourself!

Among the Torah’s intricate descriptions of the mishkan, perhaps the most notable details are the ones that are missing: where did all of this finery come from, in the middle of the desert? What sorts of supply-chain issues and commerce delays (camel shipping is not fast in the best of times…) did they encounter during their big building project? It can’t have been easy, for those newly-freed Israelite slaves making their way through the desert. Likewise, it hasn’t been easy for our congregation, in the middle of a global pandemic, to keep our eye on the future in the midst of the storm.

Yet, whatever challenges or complications the Israelites experienced dropped out of the story at some point, because truly, in retrospect, they simply fade away. We know it will be the same for TBT. And then, at the end, all that remains is a beautiful sanctuary; a place to call home.

L’Shalom, Sarah Mervine & Rabbi Danny Moss

Rabbi Emerita Column - January February 2022

January 9th, 2022

Dear Friends,

Being retired has its own challenges. Chief among them was, like for you, worrying about Covid. I say ‘was,’ because Nancy and I both tested positive last week. I wasn’t feeling 100% and decided to test. As I watched for the bars to appear, I knew in my heart but was still shocked when two little strips emerged to proclaim that yes, I was indeed positive. Nancy decided not to ‘waste’ a test and we just assumed that we were both positive. Two days later she did test, and we were right. We were both positive.

Do you know the joke about the kid whose mom spends all day worrying about a precious vase that she has on the fireplace mantle? After playing ball indoors, mom comes home from work and her child says: ‘Hey mom, you know that vase that you are constantly worried about? Guess what? I have good news: you don’t have to worry anymore!’

That is how we now feel about Covid. Of course we know that there is still plenty to worry about, plenty of unvaccinated and immuno-compromised folks who are at risk. But our personal experience was most comparable to having a cold. No big deal. We felt safe and healthy, if not a bit antsy for having to isolate.

We are sharing this personal information about ourselves too because we want to dispel the stigma around having Covid. There is no shame in testing positive, only in not being responsible. I think of those members of our congregation, and far too many others, who contracted Covid in 2020, before there was a vaccine. And those today, mostly young children, who are unable to receive a vaccine. We pray mightily for them.

As for us, we breathe deep and wait patiently (ok, not so patiently) for our isolation period to be over, so we can get back to all the wonders of socialization.

Be well, stay safe, and enjoy this one precious life.
- Rabbi O. & Nancy A

P.S. As of the printing of this SHOFAR we are happy to report that both Rabbi Offner & Nancy have tested negative!