President's Column - December 2023

Dear TBT family,

Reflecting on the recent season of Thanksgiving, I am deeply moved by the whirlwind of emotions over this past week. My extended family gathered 20 strong in Boston and had a beautiful Thanksgiving only to then rush to Washington, D.C. as my father-in-law entered hospice and then passed away. At this moment, I choose to focus on gratitude. I am grateful for my brother and his wife who host Thanksgiving every year and for my car that drove me over 900 miles this week. I am thankful for the good health of my husband, children, and parents, and for the kindness of hospice nurses. I am thankful for cornbread stuffing and for having the honor of holding Marv’s hand as he took his last breath. I am also especially thankful for the support and solidarity within our temple community.

It is times like this when it is especially obvious how important our Jewish home is. The strength of our community, evident in your care and empathy, has been a guiding light through these moments of darkness. My dear neighbor who is not Jewish talked to me after our service and said, “I am always jealous of the Jewish people. They know how to do death right.” We do. There was joy, sadness, celebration, love, songs, prayers, hugs, and lots and lots of food.

As we move forward, let us carry the spirit of Thanksgiving today and every day, recognizing and appreciating the value of gratitude. I often remind myself of a bumper sticker that caught my attention. It said, “Someone is praying for something that you are taking for granted.” Death teaches us to appreciate the here and now, to remember what is important, and to not worry about things that really don’t matter.

I am immensely grateful for each member of our TBT family and the friendship, traditions, and faith that connects us. Your continued support uplifts and strengthens us. May our ongoing journey together be filled with shared blessings and moments of profound gratitude.

Toda Raba,
Karen Goldberg

President's Column - November 2023

Dear TBT family,

I can’t believe it has only been one month since I wrote my last shofar column. It feels like years ago. A month ago I had no idea that Hamas was planning a deadly terror attack on Israel that would launch our homeland into a war. I didn’t know I would be helping to organize a vigil of solidarity for our community. I never thought I would have to rush to the synagogue after we received a threatening email or that I would be meeting with tearful preschool parents who were frightened about the safety of their children. It never occurred to me that antisemitism would erupt on our college campuses. I didn’t anticipate the need for security guards and police to protect us in our holy space. I feel like we have been living through a nightmare and I just want to wake up back in September.

I always try to keep these columns positive, and I’m sorry, but I just don’t have it in me today. This weekend was really hard. It was supposed to be parents’ weekend at my daughter's college in Maine. Instead, she came home after being in lockdown in her dorm for two days. She was traumatized. And then today, I wake up to find out that there was a violent threat against Jews at Cornell, the university my son attends. There are now armed guards outside the center for Jewish living and the Jewish fraternities. This is what our children are living through; this is what we are living through.

Sometimes we will be strong and forge ahead with gratitude and hope. But other times, we will just feel exhausted, frightened, and hopeless. This is when our Jewish community is so essential. It was such a comfort to come to the wine tasting last night and get hugs and support from my friends and my TBT family. Thank you, it made a difference to me. I want TBT to be able to provide that for you as well. This is what it means to be a true, genuine, sacred community.

B’Shalom,
Karen Goldberg

President's Column - October 2023

Hi Friends,

What a magnificent High Holy Day season we just experienced together. As many of you know, I broke my wrist right before Kol Nidre so I am currently typing with my left hand. I will therefore cheat and share with you an abridged version of my president's address from Rosh Hashanah.

This season of reflection and renewal calls us to explore the essence of our faith and our values. So, I will take this opportunity to ask you about our synagogue’s values. Here is my question. If you had to pick one thing that our temple should provide, what would it be?

For me, it is connections. Connections to each other, connections to our creator, connections to our heritage. The Hebrew word for connections is Kesher.

In a world where technology is dominating more and more of our lives, I often wonder if this brings us closer together or further apart. Did you know that Snap Chat has a new feature called a virtual friend. You can ask it questions about trivia, it can offer you advice and can help plan what to make for dinner. It gets to know you over time and changes its responses based on your likes and dislikes. That’s kind of cool? Maybe kind of scary? My perspective, as a pediatrician, is that despite how technologically linked we are, teenagers are more lonely, more anxious, and more depressed than ever. I don’t believe that the answer is more medicines or more therapy (although these often do help). I think the answer is more KESHER.

In this ever-changing world, it is our connections that provide us with stability and meaning. They remind us that we are not alone on this journey, and they give us the strength to face whatever challenges lie ahead. This is what our children need, and this is what WE need.

We at TBT want to help forge these connections, so this year, we are forming small interest groups that will meet monthly. We are calling this new program, you guessed it, Kesher. There are so many other ways to experience connections at TBT. Come to a Shabbat service and then stay to shmooze at the oneg. Come inside when you drop your children at religious school and join us for T’filah. Help our wider community through our social justice committee.

Come join Kol Ami on our hikes, movie discussions, wine tasting, or the book club. Join Haverim for whatever it is they do. Come meditate Saturday morning, and then you can be nice and relaxed for Torah Study.

So please take a moment during these High Holy Days, to reflect on one thing that you can do to deepen your connections to each other, to Temple Beth Tikvah, and to our broader Jewish community.

Our synagogue stands as a testament to these enduring connections. Over the last three years we have adapted, learned to pivot, and we have remained flexible and strong. Our commitment to our values, and to our community, has never wavered. We are here in our new sanctuary because so many of you share this love for TBT and realize the importance of supporting our Jewish community on the shoreline. We are here, more specifically, because we were able to raise over $7 million through your donations. So, I would like to say a sincere and heartfelt Todah Rabbah. However, our work is not done.

During Selichot we heard Rabbi Offner ask for forgiveness for the delays in this building project. On Rosh Hashanah, it was my turn to ask for forgiveness. Many factors contributed to making this project more expensive than anticipated 4 years ago. We now have a bank loan that accrues interest every day. It is my goal to pay it back fully over the next two-three years. I am asking you all to help us meet this goal. If you are able, please contact me about an additional donation, or a first-time donation, to our ongoing capital campaign. As Theodore Herzl said, “if you will it, it is no dream.”

My dream for all of us at this High Holy Day season is to achieve deep reflection, sincere repentance, and profound connection. May the bonds that unite us as a congregation grow even stronger and may the connections we form today continue to guide us on our spiritual journey in the days, weeks, and years to come. Shana Tova.

Karen Goldberg, President

President's Column - September 2023

Dear TBT friends,

This is a time of great transition for me and my family, as well as for all of us as a TBT congregational family.

My youngest child just left for college, and as the saying goes, we now have an “empty nest.” It is a challenging transition. Phil and I certainly feel great loss when we return each night to a clean, quiet, and calm (boring) home. However, it is intensely rewarding to see my three children pursuing their dreams, and to know that the foundation we helped them create has contributed to their sense of purpose.

This reflection is similar to how I feel about our High Holy Days this year. The sacrifice and the work we put into creating our sacred space while continuing to build community, is finally coming to fruition. This year, we are blessed to celebrate the High Holy Days in our synagogue after three long years of exile.

First and foremost, I want to express my sincere gratitude for the incredible sense of unity and resilience that our TBT community has displayed throughout the last three years. Despite many challenges, your unwavering commitment to our shared faith and values has been a source of inspiration.

The High Holidays are profoundly significant in our tradition, offering us the opportunity for introspection, renewal, and reconnection with our spiritual roots. I look forward to sharing these experiences together in our beautiful new building. So, please join us for Selichot on September 9th, when we will consecrate our Sanctuary and bring our Torahs home.

In closing, I must admit that I don’t really like the empty nest metaphor. I prefer to think of my home as a fun, exciting retreat center, or even as a serene, replenishing spa. A place where my kids can come when they need some TLC, want to reconnect, or simply need a place to think, to relax, and to grow. This year may Temple Beth Tikvah also be such a place for all of you.

Karen Goldberg

President's Column - Summer 2023

eaar TBT Family,

As Independence Day approaches, I would like to share my background. I was born in Santiago, Chile. My father had the opportunity to go to New York City to train in Kidney Transplantation. The plan was to spend three years in the United States, then go back home. While we were in New York, there was a military coup in Chile and Augusto Pinochet took control as a violent dictator. He ruled from 1973 to 1990. Even though my grandparents missed us very much, they warned us not to come back. It is with this backdrop that I truly love this country and appreciate the freedoms that many take for granted. On July 4th, we will celebrate the birth of a nation built on the principles of freedom, equality, and justice for all. We know that our country is not perfect, and we still have work to do, but this is our inspiration, this is our goal.

For us, as Jews, Independence Day, and our commitment to freedom, resonates deeply. Rabbi Sharon Brous said, “The idea that it’s possible to move from slavery to freedom and from darkness to light and from despair to hope – that is the greatest Jewish story ever told.”

Independence Day should be a reminder that we must continue to uphold our democracy. As Jews we understand the importance of supporting our religious and cultural differences while also embracing our society’s diversity.

I am proud to say that TBT is doing that. We have a strong relationship with our interfaith community. We continue to sponsor Afghan refugee families. Our Kulanu group is leading us in fighting hate and antisemitism. We are supporting Madison PrideFest and literally raising the roof for people in poverty. We are proud of our big tent, and we acknowledge that the diversity in our synagogue makes us better. In this light, I will end with a quote from Nelson Mandela: “For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.”

Shalom and Happy Independence Day,
Karen Goldberg

President's Column - June 2023

Hello Friends,

What a month it has been for Temple Beth Tikvah! What an honor it has been to be the president of TBT during these special Shehecheyanu moments.

Let’s start with our May 12th Shabbat service in our new sanctuary when we revealed the ark doors. We had set up for 100 people. Who could possibly have predicted that would not be enough? We scrambled to get more chairs and Gary Damiano rushed off to Stop and Shop to buy more food for the Oneg. As Taylor Swift says, “champagne problems.” The service filled me with memories that I will never forget. Seeing my son and so many of our incredible high school seniors honored in our new sanctuary brought tears to my eyes. Hearing Rabbi Offner on the bimah talking about the Interior Design Committee’s vision for the ark door three years ago filled me with gratitude. Having our Bat Mitzvah, Olivia Mervine-Schiff, help uncover our ark doors was beautiful, symbolic, and perfect. Then seeing those ark doors . . . the colors, the reflections, the Torah illuminated through the glass, the artistry . . . Shehecheyanu.

We had the opportunity to celebrate three B’nei Mitzvot in our new sanctuary this month. Mazel Tov to Simona Cottrill, Olivia Mervine-Schiff, and Joshua Glazer. Shehecheyanu.

We held our first annual meeting in our building in three years. We started that sacred meeting with a prayer, together singing Shehecheyanu.

We honored our Religious School teachers and had a special moment for Judy Pozzi who is retiring after 18 years of service at our Religious School. We are so grateful. Shehecheyanu.

Confirmation Shabbat celebrating our amazing teens. Shehecheyanu.

And finally, the greatest miracle of all . . . the birth of Rabbi Danny Moss and Rabbi Susan Landau Moss’s baby boy. On Friday July 28th, our congregation will have the opportunity to share in a blessing for our Rabbinic family. Shehecheyanu.

The literal translation of Shehecheyanu means “that we are alive.” As Jews we have a tradition of gratitude. We are thankful for all our blessings and that we are alive at this moment. As a community we have had a challenging three years. We had social isolation from COVID, we had clergy transitions, and we had what felt like a never-ending building renovation. I feel as if I am now at the top of the mountain seeing the holy land . . . and it is beautiful.

Praised are you G-d, ruler of the universe, for granting us life, for sustaining us, and for helping us to reach this day. Shehecheyanu.

Blessings,
Karen Goldberg

President's Column - May 2023

Hello Friends,

April 17 was Yom HaShoah, and I attended the beautiful service at our sister congregation in Chester. It started with a powerful presentation by Judith Altmann, a Holocaust survivor who was liberated by the allies from Auschwitz. She spoke about her early memories: her parents’ store being closed, not being allowed to attend school, her family’s move to the ghetto, the crowded train to the camps, being separated from her parents, standing on the line that was allowed to live, and watching her parents on the other line. . . She talked about the hunger, the smell, the death march, and the sickness. She finished by telling us that it was her responsibility as one of the survivors to continue to tell her story. It made me realize that soon there will no longer be firsthand witnesses to the Holocaust, and it will be up to us to continue to retell their stories. Not only must we never forget, we also cannot allow the rest of the world to forget.

This is my family’s story. All four of my grandparents were from Eastern Europe, and they were all Holocaust survivors. Many of you know that my mother lived in a displaced persons camp for five years, and she was one of the lucky ones. It is hard to even wrap my brain around 6 million Jews lost, among them 1.5 million children. European Jewry decimated. Jews scattering around the world. This painful history is part of the fabric of my Jewish soul.

My parents ended up in Chile. For a long time, I thought everyone in Chile was Jewish. My cousins went to Jewish schools, had Jewish friends, attended Jewish camps, and belonged to Jewish pool clubs. Their ingrained trauma bonded them together and reinforced the importance of being Jewish.

When Rabbi Moss asked us, “Why be Jewish?” my first response was this: it is a miracle that I am alive. Four of my grandparents had to beat the odds for me to be here today. My grandparents survived as proud and strong Jews. How could I walk away from that legacy?

Although this is true, on further reflection, I believe there must more to “why Jewish” then just a response to evil. Even as antisemitism is on the rise, and we are banding together, I prefer to choose Judaism out of joy and respect. So, to further answer Rabbi Moss’s question, “Why be Jewish?” I say -

I choose Judaism because I love our values, I love our music, I love our focus on learning, I love our community, I love our traditions, I love our spirituality, I love our prayers, I love our priority on family, and I love Israel.

My grandparents were deeply traumatized by the Holocaust, and they rarely spoke about their experiences. The one message that I do remember from my grandmother Anna was that all those Jewish lives were not lost in vain, because after the Holocaust we were given the land of Israel. My grandparents were all fervent Zionists, and they passed along that love to my parents and to me. Israel is a complicated place, and it is problematic in many ways, but I can’t help but to love Israel deeply.

The service last night ended with the Hatikvah. I too will end this column with those powerful words.

So long as within the inmost heart a Jewish spirit sings, so long as the eye looks eastward, gazing toward Zion, our hope is not lost. The hope of two thousand years: to be a free people in our land, the land of Zion and Jerusalem.

Blessings,
Karen Goldberg

President's Column- March 2023

Dear Friends,

I recently had a conversation with a friend that reminded me how differently people think. This woman was feeling very dissatisfied with work and was under a lot of stress trying to decide if she should quit. She had gone to her son’s sporting event and while waiting for the game to end had spoken about this to another parent. The next day that parent showed up at her house with a dinner she had made for my friend “since she was going through a hard time.” What a nice thing to do, right?

Well, my friend was livid and embarrassed, and this act of kindness sent her into a spiral. She felt pathetic, pitied, and as she said, "felt like punching this woman in the face.” Luckily, she did not act on this impulse. This story reminds me that what I need and appreciate is not necessarily what others need and appreciate. 

I bring this up because Temple Beth Tikvah is embarking on a new initiative, called Chesed - the Hebrew word for kindness or love between people. During the first year of the pandemic Rabbi Offner reached out to congregants asking for “helping hands.” There was an outpouring of support to help people with groceries, meals, camaraderie, etc. 

I believe you shouldn’t need a pandemic for our congregation to spread kindness and love. Amy Lee and Leslie Hyman are leading the efforts - one we hope will become a foundational value of TBT. We had our initial meeting with 10 members and have come up with a first step. You all will receive a survey to inform our group about our community’s most important needs. Some ideas we have brainstormed are providing meals when a family member is sick or has passed away, driving people who need a ride, providing companionship to people who may need a friend, babysitting for overworked parents that need a break, and on and on. Those were OUR thoughts but more importantly we want to know YOURS. We will also be asking if you are willing to join our efforts. 

We are going to need more people to help us with this project. My concern, however, is not a lack of people wanting to help but people feeling shy or embarrassed to ask for assistance. Therefore, I remind you that it is a mitzvah to do acts of loving kindness, but I believe that it is even more of a MITZVAH to receive assistance when needed. It makes you vulnerable, but it is just this genuine vulnerability that opens us to true connections with our TBT family. Learning to receive is a gift to ourselves but also a gift to the giver. There is no greater feeling for me than that sense that I have made someone else’s day easier and brighter. Therefore, it is a win/win situation. 

So please, fill out the questionnaire when you receive it and if you feel inspired to participate feel free to email Amy Lee amyjolee22@gmail.com or Leslie Hyman lch711@aol.com.

May we all be givers and receivers and may Chesed always be the culture of Temple Beth Tikvah.

Blessings,
Karen Goldberg

President's Column - February 2023

Dear Friends,

In my column last month, I spoke about the strength of TBT coming from our members and their dedication to our community.  That was on clear display this weekend.  For those of you who missed it, the TBT Kulanu group hosted a community discussion about antisemitism.  We had tables and chairs set up for 120 people. 

The night before the event when I spoke to Harry Schanzer (my Dad and chair of the Kulanu Working Group), he admitted that he was worried “about the numbers.”  I asked, “too many or too few?”  He said, “too few.”  WRONG answer!!! 

We had more than 300 people from the Shoreline show up to learn how to combat antisemitism.  It was truly emotional and uplifting to see so many congregants, neighbors, friends, teens, politicians, clergy, educators, and allies come together against hate.  It made me proud to be Jewish, proud to be a member of Temple Beth Tikvah, and proud to live on the CT shoreline. 

After listening to Stacy Sobel, CT ADL Director, discuss what the ADL is doing to fight hate, two TBT congregants spoke of their own experiences with antisemitism.  Thank you to Maya Daniels, our courageous middle schooler, and the eloquent  Susan Ottenheimer, daughter of founding members of TBT.  We then broke into groups of ten to talk about our own experiences with hate or antisemitism.  In just my small group I heard about a landlord saying, “don’t go to that pool, that’s where the Jews go.”  Someone else told the story of leaving her job after her manager told her to “not market to the Jews” and the lawsuit that followed.  A third member talked about his struggle when he found out someone he does business with is a Holocaust denier. 

These were powerful stories that made me think about how I would respond in these situations and how I would want my children to react.  If we truly believe NEVER AGAIN, we must act. 

Step one is realizing that there is no place for hate and there is no such thing as a “microaggression.”  A racist joke is not funny, a Jewish slur is not “just a saying,” a homophobic comment is never OK, and speaking up is our duty. 

Kulanu means all of us. And it will take all of us to continue the mission to confront and fight antisemitism in our world.  This forum was only the first that our team is planning.  We look forward to many more.  I would like to thank the Kulanu task force - Harry Schanzer, Rabbi Moss, Kim Romine, Rosemary Baggish, Nancy Fliss, Irma Grebel, Louis King, and Andrea SanMarco – for their initiative, hours of planning, dedication, and leadership.

Karen Goldberg

President's Column - January 2023

Hello Friends,

I don’t need to tell any of you that TBT has gone through A LOT of change over the last few years. Allow me to list some of them: we had the COVID disruption, a building renovation, a new rabbi, a new cantorial soloist/educator, and a new preschool director, and now we are searching for a replacement for Bonnie, our administrative assistant. Any one of these events would have been enough to devastate a synagogue; however, I will argue that Temple Beth Tikvah is thriving.

Nationwide, many synagogues are shrinking after the pandemic, yet our membership has been stable. Our preschool is full and has a waiting list. Religious school children are busy learning and are making friends. Our SALTY teens are engaged and filled with RUACH, going to BBYO events locally and nationally. The men’s group gets together to cook, discuss important issues, gathering for spiritual events with the rabbi, and build our Sukkah. Kol Ami women are hiking, participating in ceremonies, tasting wine, watching movies, and celebrating the new moon. The new Kulanu steering committee is organizing events to combat antisemitism with more and more volunteers that want to help. Torah Study is well attended and filled with good natured opinionated people. Shabbat services are now back in our building, and it is inspiring to see so many people joining together in prayer and song in our downstairs space. Finally. I am proud to say that we have now raised more than 7 million dollars in our capital campaign, and we are not done yet. . .

So why is Temple Beth Tikvah flourishing during all these challenges? I have often considered this lying awake at 2 AM worrying about the next crisis. . . and this is what I have come up with. TBT is thriving because of YOU, because of US. We are not about a fancy building, or even about our amazing clergy, staff, or teachers. TBT is about a group of 300 families that love our community and are willing to donate time and money to make sure that our community continues to grow and thrive, not only for ourselves but for our children and our children’s children, L’dor v’dor. As the Talmud says, “As my parents planted for me before I was born, so do I plant for those who will come after me.” We are literally and figuratively planting for our children.

As both a parent and a pediatrician, my goal is to help raise resilient children who can respond to change and hardship. As the temple president, I am relieved to know that our synagogue community has done just that. Temple Beth Tikvah is resilient, flexible, and strong. Thank you for making it so.

Karen Goldberg
President