Rabbi's Column - October 2020

As we turn from the month of September and the High Holy Days and anticipate the month of October and the autumnal holidays of Sukkot and Simchat Torah, I want to pause for just a moment to dwell – not in the Sukkah just yet – but in the experience of Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. Yes it was virtual. Yes it was digital. Yes it was surreal --- but the most important experience of all was that it was real. We came together as a community and honored our holy days. We touched each other’s lives. We were inspired by the Cantor’s singing and all who participated. I am choosing not to name names right now for there are far too many and I fear risking a miss, but we are all richer because of those who participated in so many ways.

We were uplifted by the shofar services, the L’Dor vaDor, the Choir, the piano, the messages, the chatbox!, the break-out groups, the Torah readers, the Haftarah readers, the Bar and Bat Mitzvah kids, the Oseh Shalom, being in our sanctuary, getting glimpses of all those home sanctuaries, seeing all those prayerbooks in your homes, our Temple President and our Temple Presidents, and oh-my-goodness all the behind-the-scenes planning by so many, including our Tech Team and our Religious Activities Committee. The list goes on and on and the sentiments run deep. In fact – don’t take it from me – let me share some of the voices of those who logged in:

“I wanted to say how beautiful the services were: at once moving, comforting and inspiring.”

“The services were wonderful! And meaningful! Thank you!”

“Everything was not only seamless but it was joyful, spiritual, heartfelt and true to our community’s values.”

And this from Molly Babbin whose sermonette inspired us all: “I wanted to say thank you for giving me the opportunity to give a sermonette at Rosh Hashana services. It is wonderful to stay connected to TBT no matter where I am living.”

“We absolutely loved the service and your sermon was an inspiration.”

“Everything went off like clockwork. It was very obvious that a lot of planning and work went into this service. Well done!”

“By far the most inspiring hours we’ve had via Zoom. Outstanding!”

“Thank you for reminding us that to have hope is a gift - and a necessity.”

I myself think back to our holidays and the overwhelming feeling I get is the sensation of your presence, our presence, our togetherness, our being. Thank you, for being the awesome congregation that you are.

Now: onward. Sukkot and Simchat Torah await. To chagim smaychim – to joyful festivals for us all,
Rabbi Stacy K. Offner

Rabbi's Column - September 2020

We are soon to be together to celebrate and observe Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur. Millions of questions swirl around my head as I consider the ways to make our services as spiritually meaningful and inspirational as can be. Let me share some key points with you, as you begin to prepare and anticipate the holidays.

First: we are going to be all together. There were many different platforms we could have chosen and key for us was the value of actually coming together and seeing each other, not just seeing the bima. So we will be on ZOOM.

The next step is equally important: it must be a spiritual experience. Zoom meetings, which we have now all participated in, are not necessarily the most holy of experiences. So we decided that we must be able to experience being ‘in the sanctuary.’ Ironically, as our sanctuary undergoes significant renovation, we had not planned to be physically at TBT in any case. Long before we heard the word ‘Covid’ we knew we needed to be out of the sanctuary for the holidays. We had arranged to gather at the Guilford High School Auditorium – and to have had a ritual last service in our TBT sanctuary before departing. The Corona Virus has altered all our great plans. But now, though it will be via a virtual service, the High Holidays will give us a chance for final services in our sanctuary as we know it today. Cantor Boyle, Walter Stutzman and I spent hours in the sanctuary, with careful safety measures, so we could bring the sanctuary into your homes.

One more critical piece of making the holidays successful, and that depends on YOU. You see, we will bring our sanctuary to you, but you also have to create a sanctuary out of your own homes. That isn’t an easy task. Think about where you are and what you are wearing and what else you are doing when you are on a Zoom meeting. The High Holy Days are not a meeting. They are holy days. Please, I implore you, consider where you are when you log onto High Holiday services. Consider what you wear! Dress up! As though you were coming to shul. It will make a difference. Put flowers on the table, in your sight! For Erev Rosh Hshanah, candlesticks and kiddish wine. For Kol Nidrei, just the candles, please. Close all applications on your computer and just leave Zoom open. Maybe you can connect your computer to your tv screen and make a sanctuary out of your entire living room, not just a desktop in the corner.

Most important: think about it. Be intentional. Come to services fully prepared.

If we are all prepared for the holy days, we will create holiness, and that is something we could all use right now.

Shana Tova – may 5781 bring redemption to us all,
Rabbi Stacy K. Offner

Rabbi's Column Summer 2020

Our summer is anything but “light” this year. Instead of Summer Days we enter our Summer Daze. But it need not be that way and in fact, we can’t afford to be in a daze. There is too much at stake.

We are still immersed in a Pandemic even as the state of Connecticut takes measures to re-open. We are still immersed in a national revelation of ongoing racism. We, as a congregation, are celebrating the comings and goings of Cantors as we shared a beautiful goodbye with Cantor Stanton and we look forward to embracing Cantor Boyle. We have also installed a new President in Sarah Mervine, even as we are glad that we don’t have to say a literal goodbye to Jeff Babbin who now steps into the role of Immediate Past President.

We also have much to look forward to! Our “Summer Services” throughout July and August will, as is now our custom, begin at 6pm with a PreNeg and be a shortened service so you can be out-the-(proverbial)-door by 7pm. And yes – that door is still proverbial as we adhere to the highest standards of COVID-19 health guidelines.

Our Summer Services will be LIVE on Zoom (in other words, they will shift from being pre-recorded on Zoom by the service leaders to being an 'in-real-time’ experience for all participants).

We are also in the midst of planning some live OUTDOOR Shabbat Services this summer. We can look forward to having FOUR outdoor services this summer – two in July and two in August. Two will be in Madison and two will be in Guilford, and each location will have enough space for us to observe social distancing. [See separate article in this Shofar for dates, times and locations.] We are working on ways to also do a live-recording of the service so all of our TBT community can join in, those who are able to join in-person as well as those for whom being at an outdoor service is not the right choice right now. (If YOU have technological expertise in this area and know how we can live-record our outdoor service so others can view it virtually, please call me right away!!!)

As we plan for our Summer Services, I also want you to know that High Holidays are very much on our minds. This virus does not willfully discriminate, but it does seem that large physical gatherings, with singing I might add, will be the last pieces of the COVID puzzle to re-open. I can say with confidence, however, that we are very hard at work on planning a High Holiday experience that will be moving, uplifting, joyous and connecting. To help assure that goal, I invite you to share with me your answers to these questions: “What are the pieces of the High Holidays at TBT that are ‘must haves’ on your list?” and “What is the goal of the High Holidays for you?” The Torah reminds us powerfully that we are to “choose life that you may live.” Rest assured that all of our decisions are driven by this commandment.

One more important item I can’t resist mentioning: Welcome, Cantor Boyle!!! We are so excited to have you as our Cantor-Educator and to have you and Cory living here in Madison at long last! A big Mazel Tov to you both on your upcoming wedding day. All of TBT is invited to the aufruf! We will have an aufruf for Cantor & Cory at our first summer service: Friday, July 3rd at 6pm. It will be our first summer service, Cantor Boyle’s first service as TBT’s Cantor, and a great time for us all to come together in honor of this special moment in all of our lives.

To a beautiful summer,
Rabbi Offner

Rabbi's Column - June 2020

Note: These remarks were offered by Rabbi Offner at the Annual Meeting on May 14th:

The agenda for the Annual Meeting calls upon me to offer a “Review of the Year.” How does one offer a review of the year when just the past eight weeks already feel like a century? Time is funny that way, and no more so than during a pandemic. So as I reflect on this past year, I reflect most significantly on how a synagogue like ours, a synagogue that at its very heart is about bringing people together, how we made a pivot eight weeks ago, and how in a matter of hours we took everything that is precious to us – our prayers, our learning, our Torah, our life cycles and our social justice work – and we put it all on line and we turned our entire synagogue into a virtual reality.

Consider those two words: ‘virtual’ and ‘reality’. They used to be opposites. If it was virtual, it wasn’t real. Today those words are synonyms. We focus a lot of our efforts on the ‘virtual’ part, as those of us who barely knew how to save a word document, are all of a sudden faced with the need to navigate through the day with Zoom and Google Classroom and Facebook Live. Everything is now virtual. But ‘reality’ is another important word, because though it is now via technology, we are still coming together and we have created something very real. Synagogue life has not stopped, not for one second. If anything, we are more connected, more profoundly connected, as this pandemic has made all our religious language about life and death more acute and more manifest.

In just 2 short months we managed to put all of our Shabbat services on line. We have live onegs on line. We had a Passover Seder and Passover Meals and even hosted special guest speakers at our Shabbat services. We have an engaging Torah study every week on line. We even have Jewish Meditation on line.

We also have an emergency connection network at our synagogue right now that we lovingly call “Helping Hands,” so that every single member of our congregation has a contact person who can initiate delivery of groceries, a chat to mitigate against lonliness, delivery of masks and navigation of social services.

And yes, the cycle of life continues. I have conducted baby namings on line, and I have wept with mourners at shiva services, on line.

None of this could happen without the extraordinary dedication and service of our lay leadership and our staff. Our Executive Committee has been working overtime. Perhaps I should amend “overtime” to “all the time.” I do not know how they do it. And our staff. Working from home but carrying on. Because we have a lot of work to do. Kim is taking care of our building every day. The Cantor has put the entire Religious School on line, and God bless our Religious School teachers, who we will be honoring at our final T’filah this Sunday morning, for all they are doing to teach our children their aleph’s and their bet’s. Bonnie assures that you receive your Shofar Blast every week and the SHOFAR is delivered to your door each month. Jen Casillo continues to connect with our Preschool Students and, because of her magic, we anticipate a huge increase in enrollment for next year.

The ways we have pivoted and adjusted are remarkable. But equally remarkable is this: life continues. We continue to build for the future. Our Building Committee is hard at work. Our Capital Campaign Committee is hard at work. TBT was just awarded a $30,000 grant from the Community Grant for the Jewish Elderly from the Jewish Foundation of Greater New Haven, to start a new project of connecting our elder generations and our younger ones, a 2-Way L’Dor Vador.

We are preparing to say a fond farewell to Cantor Stanton who has touched all of us these past two years with his kind soul and majestic voice. And we have hired a new Cantor who is bursting with energy and eagerness to meet all of her new B’nai Mitzvah Students and to bring her vision to our Religious School and her spirituality to the bima.

Life continues. So in many ways, this evening is a celebration. It is a celebration of fortitude, of compassion, of determination and proof that ‘coming together’ continues to be at the heart of what we do as a synagogue. We do indeed come together in these unique times as we have done in the past and will continue to do in the future. And so we count our blessings.

Adonai Eloheinu, Adonai our God, we ask for your blessings upon this House of Hope. Bless us with safety and with love. Bless us with patience and with hope, bless us with good health and with peace.

Ken yihi ratzon (Let it be so),
Rabbi Offner

Rabbi's Column - May 2020

Dear Friends,

We are getting good at this. Or not. It has been a good six weeks of isolation now. I recall the first moments as we made step-by-step adjustments to our lifestyles. I think back to the month of February – very easy for me to remember the entire month as Nancy and I were in Florida for the month. It was a time of innocence or maybe better referred to as naiveté. A virus was launching itself to land all over the world but we sat unknowingly in restaurants and at concerts and in places of worship – gathering, as is human to do.

And then came March. I remember those first ‘elbow bumps.’ We thought it was funny. Awkward. Silly even. But we played along and bumped elbows. Would that we could today. Because I had been away in February, we had a huge March line-up of special events and activities at the synagogue. Friday the 13th was to be Men’s Club Shabbat. The guys had prepared diligently. They knew their parts, had prepared the Torah reading, the d’var Torah and all the readings. It wasn’t until the afternoon of the 13th that we started wondering whether we should be gathering together to bring in that Shabbat. We cancelled Men’s Club Shabbat. And the rest is history. The public schools announced that they would not be returning to school that Monday. We cancelled Religious School for that Sunday.

Six weeks later, we have adjusted. We are living our lives remotely. But we are connecting. Even in profound ways.

I am so proud of our synagogue: the staff, the leadership, the volunteers, the members. So much courage. So much vision, And at this Bet Tikvah, this House of Hope, so much hope.

We have managed to turn our entire synagogue into a virtual reality. We have meaningful programs each and every week: Shabbat Services, a live pop-in Oneg that you can come to anytime and schmooze and visit and connect with your TBT family. We even have a Meditation Group that meets successfully on-line! We have assured that all our members have food and masks. We celebrated Passover beautifully with a Zoom Seder (some call it the Zeder), and we put kosher Passover meals complete with all items for your Seder plate, right into the trunks of your cars so you could observe Passover and gain strength from our Jewish traditions.

We have also celebrated births and mourned those who have passed away. More than anything at all, we have honored life. And we will continue to do so because that is what we do.

Today, more than ever, the synagogue has proven its value. Hold it fast. Hold on tight. We are in for a long ride, but we are in it together. And that is precious and priceless.

May God bless you all,
Rabbi Offner

Rabbi's Column - April 2020

Dear Friends,

In a world that is changing so rapidly each and every day, it is hard to imagine where we will be as you read this note.

It is hard to know if we will be climbing further into difficult circumstances, or beginning to see our way out of them. In truth, we probably do know that whatever point we are at on the journey, we are in for a long haul. We are sure to be experiencing fear, fatigue, uncertainty and confusion. We are equally certain to have learned new skills, new ways of coping, new ways of reaching out and new ways of appreciating one another.

We cannot physically touch anymore, but oh how we can continue to touch. Our HELPING HANDS group has mobilized and every person in our congregation should have received a ‘touch.’ We want to go further, too. Technology has been a helpful tool – but not if you are not familiar with technology. If you need a lesson in Facetime or Zoom – our SALTY High School Youth Group kids are eager to give you a one-on-one! Just contact the office and we will arrange it.

We are coming together for Shabbat Services online and for Torah Study every Shabbat morning. We are exploring online Book Groups and other ways to stay engaged.

Nevertheless, though these wonders abound, I am keenly aware that the situation is stressful, anxiety-provoking and disconcerting. The risks to people’s health and people’s lives are serious.

We must continue, each of us, to observe the practices required to keep us all safe. Wash your hands. Use Purell. Keep your physical distance from others, but goodness knows we want to keep very close spiritually and emotionally. I am awed by the human spirit.

We are a resilient species. We will get through this. Not only will we get through this, we will ultimately be better for it. We will be better at humility. We will be better at reaching out. We will be better at perspective, knowing more clearly what is truly important and what is ultimately trivial.

Pesach arrives in just a few days. All our plans for gathering together physically? Cancelled. But the message of Pesach endures. It is a message of overcoming plagues. It is a message of true leaders rising up to lead a fearful people toward freedom and safety.

It is also a message that concludes: “L’Shana Ha’Ba’ah B’Yerushalayim,” “Next year in Jerusalem.” That message has new meaning for us today. It means: let’s make a date for next year. Let’s plan on our future and plan for our future. At TBT, it means we have not CANCELLED our events, we have RESCHEDULED them.

Yes, our in-person programs have been temporarily suspenced, but we are already planning for “L’Shana Ha’Ba’ah, for next year. We ‘cancelled’ our TBT Trip to Spain in April of 2020, but we are already planning for the trip to Spain to happen in April of 2021. We ‘cancelled’ our Scholar-in-Residence Weekend in March, but we have already rescheduled for October 23-24, 2020.

We do not yet know what our Seders will look like this year, but when they end, we will say “L’Shana Ha’Ba’ah B’Yerushalayim.” We will believe with all our heart and soul, “Next Year, in a healthier world and in a better place.”

• Rabbi Offner

Cantor's Column - March 2020

Dear Friends,

Looking at the scroll that we read on Purim – the Megilah scroll or “Megilat Esther” – we see several things that stand out in contrast to the reading of Torah.

Most notably, it doesn’t mention the name (or names) of God. Also, in more traditional Jewish communities, the scroll itself is prepared in advance of the reading by folding it in book-like fashion. Also note that, unlike the Torah, it is one single scroll. It never can be confused with a Torah scroll which is stretched out between two Atzei-Chayim – two “trees” (remember: “it is a tree of life to them that hold fast to it”). The “Megilah” scrolls are often ornate with artwork or even treated like paper art (think laser cards) and encased in beautiful containers. While we adorn the Torahs with beautiful covers, the scroll itself is simple and, aside from the letters, untouched. At TBT we are fortunate to have a few of these Megilah scrolls with their beautiful cases on display in the front display cases. One reason for the elaborate way we treat the Megilah scrolls, aligning with other customs around Purim, is to emphasize the physical aspects of life.

Other Jewish customs and mitzvot that are observed on Purim, such as the giving of mishloach manot, the giving of gifts of food to friends and neighbors, and the giving of tzedakah to those in need, remind us that there are basic needs that must be met in life, but also acknowledging that things can be taken to excess. An example of this can be seen in the hearing of the megilat Esther – the whole megillah, where the custom of imbibing, silliness, and turning many things upside down like the special trope used to chant the Esther’s story and the costumes we wear, and even dressing like the opposite gender is permitted; much like the customs seen in mardi gras keeping with the spirit of the holiday.

There are many Purim-related events going on at TBT the week leading up to Purim and I hope you can be part of some of them including our Purim Shpiel and SALTY carnival on Sunday, March 8th from 11 AM to 1:30 PM.

Also, consider joining us on Erev Purim, Monday, March 9th, 7 – 8 PM, for an Adult Megillah Shpiel. (21+ recommended). Hors d’oeuvres and libations will be served, or feel free to BYOB. In addition, we are looking for three (3) additional adult players for our Purim Shpiel cast on Monday evening. Please contact Cantor Stanton if you are interested and up for the fun!!

Purim Sameach!
Cantor Mark Stanton

Rabbi's Column February 2020

We have the extraordinary opportunity to have the director of the film “From Cairo to the Cloud” join us at TBT as our Scholar-in-Residence this year.

Michelle Paymar is an award winning filmmaker whose credits include documentaries that have appeared on NBC, ABC, CBS and PBS. Earlier films include her pioneering AIDS documentary, “For Our Lives,” and “Sippie,” a documentary (co-directed by Roberta Grossman) about blues artist Sippie Wallace.

“From Cairo to the Cloud” documents the discovery of the Cairo Geniza (a geniza is a receptacle for holy Jewish texts) and its subsequent safeguarding in ’The Cloud’ by a tenacious group of scholars. The Cairo Geniza revolutionized our understanding of Jewish history and illuminated a thousand years of vibrant Jewish life in the heart of the Islamic world.

There is so much to learn from the documents and from the filmmaker. We get to do both at our Scholar-in-Residence Weekend, March 20 -21, 2020.

To a great weekend of discovery!
- Rabbi Offner

Rabbi's Column January 2020

Dear Friends,

January is the coldest month of the year if not, thankfully, the snowiest. I look at the month ahead of us and, with that chill in the air, I look forward to warming up the weeks ahead with special projects and gatherings at TBT.

The first activity that I want to highlight is a very easy way for you to do a huge mitzvah. The State of Israel is preparing right now to host the World Zionist Congress, and your vote can make a real impact on shaping the Israel of the future to be pluralistic and egalitarian. Let me explain:

The World Zionist Congress has been meeting ever since Theodore Herzl established it in Basel, Switzerland in 1897. The Congress is comprised of worldwide Jewry and the United States has a large presence. If we can ALL vote for Reform Jewish delegates to be seated at the Congress, it could mean as much as $20 million dollars slated for projects in Israel that benefit a liberal expression of Judaism and allows for the flourishing of Reform Judaism in Israel. We can do this! Please make a commitment to vote – it will be made simple for you to do so by our fearless ARZA-WZC co-chairs, Mara Weissman and Andrea San Marco. They will be putting ballot information in your inboxes when the time comes to be able to vote. Just be on the lookout and promise to make a wonderful difference for Israel.

Other activities I look forward to in January include teaching a Lunch & Learn, this time on Tuesdays from 12:30 PM - 2 PM with a focus on the book of Genesis and how the actual Hebrew words of the text reveal its meaning.

I also want to mention the Gamerman Film Festival which usually warms us up in January but has moved this year to the month of March. Stay tuned.

The month of January coincides this year with the Hebrew month of Tevet. You may recognize in that Hebrew name the word “Tov” which means “good.” The rabbis consider Tevet to be a good month because, since it is so cold, it causes people to want to seek warmth by being close to one another.

By all means, let us warm each other up during this otherwise cold month of January.

L’Shalom,
Rabbi Offner

Rabbi's Column December 2019

Mondays are my day off. I love Mondays. And no, it’s not exactly because Monday’s are my day off but rather, it is because of what I choose to do with my day off. Every Monday since he has been born, Nancy and I ‘grandmasit’ for our grandson who is now 8 years old. It is the joy of our lives, but don’t take my word for it – just ask any grandparent who gets to take care of their grandchild(ren) and you will know how true it is.

It is a blessing for so many reasons. It is a blessing to be able to help your children, even when they themselves are adults. It is a blessing to be needed and to be able to deliver on that need. It is a blessing to be helpful. And of course, the obvious, it is a blessing to be able to develop a precious relationship with your grandchild.

It is so important for people who are on the older end of the lifecycle to be able to interact with young children. You don’t have to be a grandparent to do so. It sure is one of the precious gifts of being a part of Temple Beth Tikvah. It is home for people of every age and therefore we all have ‘grandchildren’ and ‘grandparents’ right here, even if we don’t have literal grand-family, or if our own grand-family is geographically far away.

It makes me want our children to be able to better interact with our elders, and it makes me want our elders to be better integrated into our programming for children.

We see it at services. Remember the High Holidays? (Not that long ago!) Surely one of the highlights is when the children come up onto the bima and sing “Oseh Shalom.” I don’t think there is a dry eye in the house! All of our elders are enchanted. Our kids are giving them a gift beyond their awareness.

That gift doesn’t have to happen just once a year.

It’s simple. Just consider these options. If you are an adult who is not busy raising your own children, just let me know if you would like to be a “grand-sitter.” Alternatively, if you are a person without any elders in your life, let me know if you would like to strike up a friendship with someone who might be a generation ahead of you.

I am a great matchmaker, and these kind of matches are the best of all.

L’Shalom,
Rabbi