Rabbi's Column - January 2021

Are you able to sleep well these days? Has COVID entered into your dreams? I know that I have periods of time when I remember my dreams vividly, and other times not at all. These days, interestingly enough, it’s been a hybrid. I wake up just knowing that I have been dreaming, but I have no clue what the dream has been. Nothing. Not the feeling, not the characters, not the plot.

Maybe that makes me lucky. I know that at the very least I have been sleeping well. How about you? Maybe you are sleeping better because, without that commute to work, you get to sleep later than usual. Then again, maybe not. Maybe you are racked with anxiety dreams. You sure do have every right to those, as we are now in the 10th straight month of mask-wearing and social-distancing. In some ways, the anxiety increases as we begin to believe that there may be a finish line. I think of Dorothy on her way to the Emerald City, all her friends wanting to give up. “But we’ve come so far, already,” Dorothy says in an effort to cheer them on and lift up their spirits.

Surely it is the Biblical Joseph who is most famously associated with dreams. Earlier in his life, Joseph’s dreams got him into trouble. They were the source of his misfortune as his brothers threw him into the pit. But when Pharaoh starts having strange dreams, Joseph rises in power because of his ability to interpret them.

When we speak of dreams, we mean different things. On the most literal level, dreams are what we do in our sleep. But to dream has a higher meaning as well. To dream can imply a sense of a larger vision of life, a sense that things could somehow be better than they are at present and a direction for how to advance toward that goal.

We have been doing a lot of dreaming these days. Right here at TBT, we dream about the future in our new building, safe and sound. As we prepare to celebrate Cantor Boyle’s installation as TBT’s Cantor, I know I also dream – on her behalf – for the day when she can engage with our congregation in the physical space of our newly renovated and beautified sanctuary. And if that’s not enough: We dream too about who the next rabbi of TBT will be. I know I dream of passing that torch to the perfect rabbi for the next chapter of TBT’s life. I dream too, of being in our new space, of looking back upon a successful capital campaign, so we can not only dream dreams, but pay for those dreams so we can live the dream.

About dreams, the midrash teaches: it is “true that everyone dreams, but a leader’s dream embraces the whole world.” And so, first and foremost, our greatest dream right now is to live in a world where we can touch and gather and embrace without risking our lives to do so.

I say: let us dream on, of a world not only free of the corona virus, but a world where we are free to heal the sick and comfort the bereaved, to feed the hungry and shelter the homeless, to reach for the stars and to hold each other tight. Hold fast to dreams for dreams do come true.

Rabbi Offner

Rabbi's Column - December 2020

What is the holiday of Chanukah really about? You ask someone who knows, and you get a different answer every time. It seems like a simple question, but the truth is, there is no easy answer.

The truth is – “What is Chanukah?” is one of the Talmud’s most famous questions. You have to know that if the rabbis are asking the question, there is no easy answer.

What is YOUR answer? I am sure that you have been asked the question many times, even been invited countless times to come into your child’s class and answer that question to an entire classroom of kids – most of whom are not Jewish – and their only reference point is Christmas.

“It’s the Jewish Christmas,” some will say. The truth is, both holidays do light lights during the darkest time of year. The truth is, that gesture is worthy of a holiday, not only at this physically darkest time of the year, but at this corona virus darkest time of the year. How do we respond to deep darkness? We create light.

But truth be told, when the rabbis of the Talmud asked: “Mei Chanukah” in their native Aramaic, when they asked “what is Chanukah?” that was not their answer.

“What is Chanukah?” the rabbis ask in tractate Shabbat 21b. And they answer their own question by explaining: “On the 25th of Kislev - when the Greeks entered the Temple, they polluted all the oils in the Temple, and when the Hasmonean dynasty overcame and defeated them, they checked and they found but one cruse of oil that was set in place with the seal of the High Priest, but there was in it only [enough] to light a single day. A miracle was done with it, and it stayed lit for eight days.”

Oil that was only enough for one day lasted for eight days. So Chanukah, it seems, is a holiday celebrating resilience. How much ‘oil’ do you have left in you? How do you sustain yourself, keep going, stretch the oil, the fuel that keeps you going, especially during a pandemic?

Chanukah teaches us how to live. And miraculously, Chanukah is a holiday we can celebrate in the safety of our own homes. Everyone can take a moment on each of the eight nights of Chanukah to kindle light, to remember that those who came before us gained strength and sustenance from this simple, accessible tradition.

Chanukah begins this year on Thursday, December 10th at sunset when we kindle the 1st candle. The 2nd night is Erev Shabbat and we will come together (virtually), as a congregation, and we will each kindle our own chanukiot, as Zoom gives us – yes – another miracle: the miracle of being inside everyone’s home at the same time and together we witness the faith and courage of our people as we kindle a light against the darkness and pray for another miracle of deliverance this year.

To a Chanukah filled with light and sustenance and miracles,
Rabbi Offner

Rabbi's Column - November 2020

Most knowledgeable Jews are quick to claim that there are NO Jewish holidays in the month of November -- but I beg to disagree. We have not only one, but two important Jewish holidays each and every November. Tuesday, November 3rd is Election Day, and I like to consider Election Day as a holiday in the best tradition of Jewish customs and values. Thursday, November 26th, is Thanksgiving, and the giving of thanks is also a core Jewish value.

This year we have an Election Day like no other. Roughly one-third of the electorate has already cast their ballot, but Election Day is still Election Day. We Jews have always treasured Election Day. I still can’t shake the image of my Polish-born grandfather dressing in his finest suit to go and cast his vote. Why? Perhaps it is because we have so rarely been accorded the right to vote that we don’t dare ever take it for granted. As battles rage across this country about access to vote it is important to remember that the right to vote is, in the scheme of things, a recent privilege for the Jewish people. It was not until the eighteenth century (that is, relatively recently) that public discourse even entertained the notion that Jews might vote, and otherwise become full participants of any nation, including ours. To this day, we Jews must remember that voting is a privilege not to be taken for granted, and a right that must be protected.

A major reason why the notion of Jews voting had hitherto been preposterous was that the pre-modern state was thoroughly intertwined with a particular religion. Even right here on the Shoreline! Once upon a time, you had to be a member of the church to cast a vote. The ability of Jews today to fully engage in the political processes of the United States has to do with a concept that did not exist prior to the 18th century. That concept is that nationality and religion can be separated.

That concept is also fundamental to our full embrace of Thanksgiving as a national holiday. The focus is rightly on the giving of thanks and we need to cultivate that sense of gratitude, especially now when times are so hard. In a year when we likely can’t sit around the Thanksgiving table as in years past, we can still tap into our appreciation for all that we do have. One thing I am grateful for is our interfaith community here in Madison & Guilford. My Christian colleagues are amongst my most treasured friends. I look forward to the day when we have greater religious diversity on the shoreline and Hindu temples and Muslim mosques also grace the skyline.

What are you grateful for? Hopefully, come Thanksgiving Day, you will look back upon Election Day and be very grateful for having voted.
- Rabbi Stacy Offner

Rabbi's Column - October 2020

As we turn from the month of September and the High Holy Days and anticipate the month of October and the autumnal holidays of Sukkot and Simchat Torah, I want to pause for just a moment to dwell – not in the Sukkah just yet – but in the experience of Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. Yes it was virtual. Yes it was digital. Yes it was surreal --- but the most important experience of all was that it was real. We came together as a community and honored our holy days. We touched each other’s lives. We were inspired by the Cantor’s singing and all who participated. I am choosing not to name names right now for there are far too many and I fear risking a miss, but we are all richer because of those who participated in so many ways.

We were uplifted by the shofar services, the L’Dor vaDor, the Choir, the piano, the messages, the chatbox!, the break-out groups, the Torah readers, the Haftarah readers, the Bar and Bat Mitzvah kids, the Oseh Shalom, being in our sanctuary, getting glimpses of all those home sanctuaries, seeing all those prayerbooks in your homes, our Temple President and our Temple Presidents, and oh-my-goodness all the behind-the-scenes planning by so many, including our Tech Team and our Religious Activities Committee. The list goes on and on and the sentiments run deep. In fact – don’t take it from me – let me share some of the voices of those who logged in:

“I wanted to say how beautiful the services were: at once moving, comforting and inspiring.”

“The services were wonderful! And meaningful! Thank you!”

“Everything was not only seamless but it was joyful, spiritual, heartfelt and true to our community’s values.”

And this from Molly Babbin whose sermonette inspired us all: “I wanted to say thank you for giving me the opportunity to give a sermonette at Rosh Hashana services. It is wonderful to stay connected to TBT no matter where I am living.”

“We absolutely loved the service and your sermon was an inspiration.”

“Everything went off like clockwork. It was very obvious that a lot of planning and work went into this service. Well done!”

“By far the most inspiring hours we’ve had via Zoom. Outstanding!”

“Thank you for reminding us that to have hope is a gift - and a necessity.”

I myself think back to our holidays and the overwhelming feeling I get is the sensation of your presence, our presence, our togetherness, our being. Thank you, for being the awesome congregation that you are.

Now: onward. Sukkot and Simchat Torah await. To chagim smaychim – to joyful festivals for us all,
Rabbi Stacy K. Offner

Rabbi's Column - September 2020

We are soon to be together to celebrate and observe Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur. Millions of questions swirl around my head as I consider the ways to make our services as spiritually meaningful and inspirational as can be. Let me share some key points with you, as you begin to prepare and anticipate the holidays.

First: we are going to be all together. There were many different platforms we could have chosen and key for us was the value of actually coming together and seeing each other, not just seeing the bima. So we will be on ZOOM.

The next step is equally important: it must be a spiritual experience. Zoom meetings, which we have now all participated in, are not necessarily the most holy of experiences. So we decided that we must be able to experience being ‘in the sanctuary.’ Ironically, as our sanctuary undergoes significant renovation, we had not planned to be physically at TBT in any case. Long before we heard the word ‘Covid’ we knew we needed to be out of the sanctuary for the holidays. We had arranged to gather at the Guilford High School Auditorium – and to have had a ritual last service in our TBT sanctuary before departing. The Corona Virus has altered all our great plans. But now, though it will be via a virtual service, the High Holidays will give us a chance for final services in our sanctuary as we know it today. Cantor Boyle, Walter Stutzman and I spent hours in the sanctuary, with careful safety measures, so we could bring the sanctuary into your homes.

One more critical piece of making the holidays successful, and that depends on YOU. You see, we will bring our sanctuary to you, but you also have to create a sanctuary out of your own homes. That isn’t an easy task. Think about where you are and what you are wearing and what else you are doing when you are on a Zoom meeting. The High Holy Days are not a meeting. They are holy days. Please, I implore you, consider where you are when you log onto High Holiday services. Consider what you wear! Dress up! As though you were coming to shul. It will make a difference. Put flowers on the table, in your sight! For Erev Rosh Hshanah, candlesticks and kiddish wine. For Kol Nidrei, just the candles, please. Close all applications on your computer and just leave Zoom open. Maybe you can connect your computer to your tv screen and make a sanctuary out of your entire living room, not just a desktop in the corner.

Most important: think about it. Be intentional. Come to services fully prepared.

If we are all prepared for the holy days, we will create holiness, and that is something we could all use right now.

Shana Tova – may 5781 bring redemption to us all,
Rabbi Stacy K. Offner

Rabbi's Column Summer 2020

Our summer is anything but “light” this year. Instead of Summer Days we enter our Summer Daze. But it need not be that way and in fact, we can’t afford to be in a daze. There is too much at stake.

We are still immersed in a Pandemic even as the state of Connecticut takes measures to re-open. We are still immersed in a national revelation of ongoing racism. We, as a congregation, are celebrating the comings and goings of Cantors as we shared a beautiful goodbye with Cantor Stanton and we look forward to embracing Cantor Boyle. We have also installed a new President in Sarah Mervine, even as we are glad that we don’t have to say a literal goodbye to Jeff Babbin who now steps into the role of Immediate Past President.

We also have much to look forward to! Our “Summer Services” throughout July and August will, as is now our custom, begin at 6pm with a PreNeg and be a shortened service so you can be out-the-(proverbial)-door by 7pm. And yes – that door is still proverbial as we adhere to the highest standards of COVID-19 health guidelines.

Our Summer Services will be LIVE on Zoom (in other words, they will shift from being pre-recorded on Zoom by the service leaders to being an 'in-real-time’ experience for all participants).

We are also in the midst of planning some live OUTDOOR Shabbat Services this summer. We can look forward to having FOUR outdoor services this summer – two in July and two in August. Two will be in Madison and two will be in Guilford, and each location will have enough space for us to observe social distancing. [See separate article in this Shofar for dates, times and locations.] We are working on ways to also do a live-recording of the service so all of our TBT community can join in, those who are able to join in-person as well as those for whom being at an outdoor service is not the right choice right now. (If YOU have technological expertise in this area and know how we can live-record our outdoor service so others can view it virtually, please call me right away!!!)

As we plan for our Summer Services, I also want you to know that High Holidays are very much on our minds. This virus does not willfully discriminate, but it does seem that large physical gatherings, with singing I might add, will be the last pieces of the COVID puzzle to re-open. I can say with confidence, however, that we are very hard at work on planning a High Holiday experience that will be moving, uplifting, joyous and connecting. To help assure that goal, I invite you to share with me your answers to these questions: “What are the pieces of the High Holidays at TBT that are ‘must haves’ on your list?” and “What is the goal of the High Holidays for you?” The Torah reminds us powerfully that we are to “choose life that you may live.” Rest assured that all of our decisions are driven by this commandment.

One more important item I can’t resist mentioning: Welcome, Cantor Boyle!!! We are so excited to have you as our Cantor-Educator and to have you and Cory living here in Madison at long last! A big Mazel Tov to you both on your upcoming wedding day. All of TBT is invited to the aufruf! We will have an aufruf for Cantor & Cory at our first summer service: Friday, July 3rd at 6pm. It will be our first summer service, Cantor Boyle’s first service as TBT’s Cantor, and a great time for us all to come together in honor of this special moment in all of our lives.

To a beautiful summer,
Rabbi Offner

Rabbi's Column - June 2020

Note: These remarks were offered by Rabbi Offner at the Annual Meeting on May 14th:

The agenda for the Annual Meeting calls upon me to offer a “Review of the Year.” How does one offer a review of the year when just the past eight weeks already feel like a century? Time is funny that way, and no more so than during a pandemic. So as I reflect on this past year, I reflect most significantly on how a synagogue like ours, a synagogue that at its very heart is about bringing people together, how we made a pivot eight weeks ago, and how in a matter of hours we took everything that is precious to us – our prayers, our learning, our Torah, our life cycles and our social justice work – and we put it all on line and we turned our entire synagogue into a virtual reality.

Consider those two words: ‘virtual’ and ‘reality’. They used to be opposites. If it was virtual, it wasn’t real. Today those words are synonyms. We focus a lot of our efforts on the ‘virtual’ part, as those of us who barely knew how to save a word document, are all of a sudden faced with the need to navigate through the day with Zoom and Google Classroom and Facebook Live. Everything is now virtual. But ‘reality’ is another important word, because though it is now via technology, we are still coming together and we have created something very real. Synagogue life has not stopped, not for one second. If anything, we are more connected, more profoundly connected, as this pandemic has made all our religious language about life and death more acute and more manifest.

In just 2 short months we managed to put all of our Shabbat services on line. We have live onegs on line. We had a Passover Seder and Passover Meals and even hosted special guest speakers at our Shabbat services. We have an engaging Torah study every week on line. We even have Jewish Meditation on line.

We also have an emergency connection network at our synagogue right now that we lovingly call “Helping Hands,” so that every single member of our congregation has a contact person who can initiate delivery of groceries, a chat to mitigate against lonliness, delivery of masks and navigation of social services.

And yes, the cycle of life continues. I have conducted baby namings on line, and I have wept with mourners at shiva services, on line.

None of this could happen without the extraordinary dedication and service of our lay leadership and our staff. Our Executive Committee has been working overtime. Perhaps I should amend “overtime” to “all the time.” I do not know how they do it. And our staff. Working from home but carrying on. Because we have a lot of work to do. Kim is taking care of our building every day. The Cantor has put the entire Religious School on line, and God bless our Religious School teachers, who we will be honoring at our final T’filah this Sunday morning, for all they are doing to teach our children their aleph’s and their bet’s. Bonnie assures that you receive your Shofar Blast every week and the SHOFAR is delivered to your door each month. Jen Casillo continues to connect with our Preschool Students and, because of her magic, we anticipate a huge increase in enrollment for next year.

The ways we have pivoted and adjusted are remarkable. But equally remarkable is this: life continues. We continue to build for the future. Our Building Committee is hard at work. Our Capital Campaign Committee is hard at work. TBT was just awarded a $30,000 grant from the Community Grant for the Jewish Elderly from the Jewish Foundation of Greater New Haven, to start a new project of connecting our elder generations and our younger ones, a 2-Way L’Dor Vador.

We are preparing to say a fond farewell to Cantor Stanton who has touched all of us these past two years with his kind soul and majestic voice. And we have hired a new Cantor who is bursting with energy and eagerness to meet all of her new B’nai Mitzvah Students and to bring her vision to our Religious School and her spirituality to the bima.

Life continues. So in many ways, this evening is a celebration. It is a celebration of fortitude, of compassion, of determination and proof that ‘coming together’ continues to be at the heart of what we do as a synagogue. We do indeed come together in these unique times as we have done in the past and will continue to do in the future. And so we count our blessings.

Adonai Eloheinu, Adonai our God, we ask for your blessings upon this House of Hope. Bless us with safety and with love. Bless us with patience and with hope, bless us with good health and with peace.

Ken yihi ratzon (Let it be so),
Rabbi Offner

Rabbi's Column - May 2020

Dear Friends,

We are getting good at this. Or not. It has been a good six weeks of isolation now. I recall the first moments as we made step-by-step adjustments to our lifestyles. I think back to the month of February – very easy for me to remember the entire month as Nancy and I were in Florida for the month. It was a time of innocence or maybe better referred to as naiveté. A virus was launching itself to land all over the world but we sat unknowingly in restaurants and at concerts and in places of worship – gathering, as is human to do.

And then came March. I remember those first ‘elbow bumps.’ We thought it was funny. Awkward. Silly even. But we played along and bumped elbows. Would that we could today. Because I had been away in February, we had a huge March line-up of special events and activities at the synagogue. Friday the 13th was to be Men’s Club Shabbat. The guys had prepared diligently. They knew their parts, had prepared the Torah reading, the d’var Torah and all the readings. It wasn’t until the afternoon of the 13th that we started wondering whether we should be gathering together to bring in that Shabbat. We cancelled Men’s Club Shabbat. And the rest is history. The public schools announced that they would not be returning to school that Monday. We cancelled Religious School for that Sunday.

Six weeks later, we have adjusted. We are living our lives remotely. But we are connecting. Even in profound ways.

I am so proud of our synagogue: the staff, the leadership, the volunteers, the members. So much courage. So much vision, And at this Bet Tikvah, this House of Hope, so much hope.

We have managed to turn our entire synagogue into a virtual reality. We have meaningful programs each and every week: Shabbat Services, a live pop-in Oneg that you can come to anytime and schmooze and visit and connect with your TBT family. We even have a Meditation Group that meets successfully on-line! We have assured that all our members have food and masks. We celebrated Passover beautifully with a Zoom Seder (some call it the Zeder), and we put kosher Passover meals complete with all items for your Seder plate, right into the trunks of your cars so you could observe Passover and gain strength from our Jewish traditions.

We have also celebrated births and mourned those who have passed away. More than anything at all, we have honored life. And we will continue to do so because that is what we do.

Today, more than ever, the synagogue has proven its value. Hold it fast. Hold on tight. We are in for a long ride, but we are in it together. And that is precious and priceless.

May God bless you all,
Rabbi Offner

Rabbi's Column - April 2020

Dear Friends,

In a world that is changing so rapidly each and every day, it is hard to imagine where we will be as you read this note.

It is hard to know if we will be climbing further into difficult circumstances, or beginning to see our way out of them. In truth, we probably do know that whatever point we are at on the journey, we are in for a long haul. We are sure to be experiencing fear, fatigue, uncertainty and confusion. We are equally certain to have learned new skills, new ways of coping, new ways of reaching out and new ways of appreciating one another.

We cannot physically touch anymore, but oh how we can continue to touch. Our HELPING HANDS group has mobilized and every person in our congregation should have received a ‘touch.’ We want to go further, too. Technology has been a helpful tool – but not if you are not familiar with technology. If you need a lesson in Facetime or Zoom – our SALTY High School Youth Group kids are eager to give you a one-on-one! Just contact the office and we will arrange it.

We are coming together for Shabbat Services online and for Torah Study every Shabbat morning. We are exploring online Book Groups and other ways to stay engaged.

Nevertheless, though these wonders abound, I am keenly aware that the situation is stressful, anxiety-provoking and disconcerting. The risks to people’s health and people’s lives are serious.

We must continue, each of us, to observe the practices required to keep us all safe. Wash your hands. Use Purell. Keep your physical distance from others, but goodness knows we want to keep very close spiritually and emotionally. I am awed by the human spirit.

We are a resilient species. We will get through this. Not only will we get through this, we will ultimately be better for it. We will be better at humility. We will be better at reaching out. We will be better at perspective, knowing more clearly what is truly important and what is ultimately trivial.

Pesach arrives in just a few days. All our plans for gathering together physically? Cancelled. But the message of Pesach endures. It is a message of overcoming plagues. It is a message of true leaders rising up to lead a fearful people toward freedom and safety.

It is also a message that concludes: “L’Shana Ha’Ba’ah B’Yerushalayim,” “Next year in Jerusalem.” That message has new meaning for us today. It means: let’s make a date for next year. Let’s plan on our future and plan for our future. At TBT, it means we have not CANCELLED our events, we have RESCHEDULED them.

Yes, our in-person programs have been temporarily suspenced, but we are already planning for “L’Shana Ha’Ba’ah, for next year. We ‘cancelled’ our TBT Trip to Spain in April of 2020, but we are already planning for the trip to Spain to happen in April of 2021. We ‘cancelled’ our Scholar-in-Residence Weekend in March, but we have already rescheduled for October 23-24, 2020.

We do not yet know what our Seders will look like this year, but when they end, we will say “L’Shana Ha’Ba’ah B’Yerushalayim.” We will believe with all our heart and soul, “Next Year, in a healthier world and in a better place.”

• Rabbi Offner

Cantor's Column - March 2020

Dear Friends,

Looking at the scroll that we read on Purim – the Megilah scroll or “Megilat Esther” – we see several things that stand out in contrast to the reading of Torah.

Most notably, it doesn’t mention the name (or names) of God. Also, in more traditional Jewish communities, the scroll itself is prepared in advance of the reading by folding it in book-like fashion. Also note that, unlike the Torah, it is one single scroll. It never can be confused with a Torah scroll which is stretched out between two Atzei-Chayim – two “trees” (remember: “it is a tree of life to them that hold fast to it”). The “Megilah” scrolls are often ornate with artwork or even treated like paper art (think laser cards) and encased in beautiful containers. While we adorn the Torahs with beautiful covers, the scroll itself is simple and, aside from the letters, untouched. At TBT we are fortunate to have a few of these Megilah scrolls with their beautiful cases on display in the front display cases. One reason for the elaborate way we treat the Megilah scrolls, aligning with other customs around Purim, is to emphasize the physical aspects of life.

Other Jewish customs and mitzvot that are observed on Purim, such as the giving of mishloach manot, the giving of gifts of food to friends and neighbors, and the giving of tzedakah to those in need, remind us that there are basic needs that must be met in life, but also acknowledging that things can be taken to excess. An example of this can be seen in the hearing of the megilat Esther – the whole megillah, where the custom of imbibing, silliness, and turning many things upside down like the special trope used to chant the Esther’s story and the costumes we wear, and even dressing like the opposite gender is permitted; much like the customs seen in mardi gras keeping with the spirit of the holiday.

There are many Purim-related events going on at TBT the week leading up to Purim and I hope you can be part of some of them including our Purim Shpiel and SALTY carnival on Sunday, March 8th from 11 AM to 1:30 PM.

Also, consider joining us on Erev Purim, Monday, March 9th, 7 – 8 PM, for an Adult Megillah Shpiel. (21+ recommended). Hors d’oeuvres and libations will be served, or feel free to BYOB. In addition, we are looking for three (3) additional adult players for our Purim Shpiel cast on Monday evening. Please contact Cantor Stanton if you are interested and up for the fun!!

Purim Sameach!
Cantor Mark Stanton