A note from Dr. Cassorla - March 2023

Dear Friends,

Mi Sh’nichnas Adar, Marbim B’Simchah.

From the moment Adar begins, we should increase our joy.

This rabbinic mandate comes from the Gemara. But it raises an obvious question; can we really be mandated to be happy?

While I doubt one’s emotional state can be mandated or commanded, it can be encouraged. Science shows that there are several ways to increase one’s own happiness, and each can be derived in our Jewish community.

We can become happier by bringing joy to others. For this reason, in Adar, we practice Mishloach Manot, the sending of food gifts. You’d be amazed what a basket of fruits and Hamantaschen can do for a person—and even more amazed at the joy you find in making and delivering them. This is also the reason that paying for someone else’s coffee at the Drive-Thru is such a pleasing experience.

We can become happier by practicing gratitude. For this reason, the fourth grade learned the Modeh/Modah Ani* this month, teaching them that the first words they say in the morning can set an intention for the day. They also learned other blessings to help them feel gratitude throughout the day.

We can become happier by (re)connecting with our community, as we do weekly through Shabbat services on Friday nights, and mindfulness meditation and Torah study on Shabbat mornings.

Our own Tikkun students have noted in their podcast that something as simple as saying a kind word, holding a door for another, or offering to help—when we truly mean it—can not only increase the level of Tikkun Olam (reparation of the world) we practice, but even brighten our own days by reminding us that we are not alone.

For belly laughs, in Adar, we have Purim. At TBT, that means a SALTY Carnival with a spiel and a costume contest. It also means an evening with our adult friends which will include a spiel, Megillah chanting, a wine tasting, and food. Please join us on March 5, at Religious School, and on March 6, at 6 pm, at TBT for some very Jewish Joy!

May your Adar be filled with joy, Jewish and non. And may that joy spill into your every day.

*Modeh/Modah Ani is the morning prayer thanking God for our lives and God’s faith in us.

Kol Tuv,
Dr. Cassorla

President's Column- March 2023

Dear Friends,

I recently had a conversation with a friend that reminded me how differently people think. This woman was feeling very dissatisfied with work and was under a lot of stress trying to decide if she should quit. She had gone to her son’s sporting event and while waiting for the game to end had spoken about this to another parent. The next day that parent showed up at her house with a dinner she had made for my friend “since she was going through a hard time.” What a nice thing to do, right?

Well, my friend was livid and embarrassed, and this act of kindness sent her into a spiral. She felt pathetic, pitied, and as she said, "felt like punching this woman in the face.” Luckily, she did not act on this impulse. This story reminds me that what I need and appreciate is not necessarily what others need and appreciate. 

I bring this up because Temple Beth Tikvah is embarking on a new initiative, called Chesed - the Hebrew word for kindness or love between people. During the first year of the pandemic Rabbi Offner reached out to congregants asking for “helping hands.” There was an outpouring of support to help people with groceries, meals, camaraderie, etc. 

I believe you shouldn’t need a pandemic for our congregation to spread kindness and love. Amy Lee and Leslie Hyman are leading the efforts - one we hope will become a foundational value of TBT. We had our initial meeting with 10 members and have come up with a first step. You all will receive a survey to inform our group about our community’s most important needs. Some ideas we have brainstormed are providing meals when a family member is sick or has passed away, driving people who need a ride, providing companionship to people who may need a friend, babysitting for overworked parents that need a break, and on and on. Those were OUR thoughts but more importantly we want to know YOURS. We will also be asking if you are willing to join our efforts. 

We are going to need more people to help us with this project. My concern, however, is not a lack of people wanting to help but people feeling shy or embarrassed to ask for assistance. Therefore, I remind you that it is a mitzvah to do acts of loving kindness, but I believe that it is even more of a MITZVAH to receive assistance when needed. It makes you vulnerable, but it is just this genuine vulnerability that opens us to true connections with our TBT family. Learning to receive is a gift to ourselves but also a gift to the giver. There is no greater feeling for me than that sense that I have made someone else’s day easier and brighter. Therefore, it is a win/win situation. 

So please, fill out the questionnaire when you receive it and if you feel inspired to participate feel free to email Amy Lee amyjolee22@gmail.com or Leslie Hyman lch711@aol.com.

May we all be givers and receivers and may Chesed always be the culture of Temple Beth Tikvah.

Blessings,
Karen Goldberg

Rabbi's Column - March 2023

Dear Friends,

We’ve all heard the phrase “I’m going to hang up my hat…” Well, this month I hung up my tallit! But that doesn’t mean what you might think — in fact, quite the opposite. Please allow me to explain.

In the summer of 2021, Rabbi Offner left me some very useful tools, including the tallit racks inside my study. I hadn’t really used them much, though, since we’ve been gathering for services all over the Shoreline. Ever since we’ve been meeting regularly at TBT, however, I have finally started using those tallit racks for the first time! It feels incredible to hang up my prayer shawl each week, knowing that Temple Beth Tikvah is once again ‘home base’.

In the days of the ancient Jerusalem Temple, our ancestors referred to it as Beit HaMikdash (‘The Sacred House’), or more colloquially, HaBayit, (simply, ‘The House’). After the Temple was destroyed, the family table became the new altar. The synagogue came to house the new sanctuaries of our people. Private residence and synagogue alike came to convey an abiding Jewish sense of ‘home.’

Now, every Erev Shabbat (Sabbath eve) I can come home to TBT, prepare to enter Shabbat with a moment of silence, and wrap myself in my tallit following the custom of my ancestors. These small moments help me realize that we are truly entering a new stage of readiness to re-enter our congregational home.

Has it been a while since your last building tour? We’d love to invite you back to see all of the progress! Simply refer to the details enclosed or be in touch with the office. It’s going to be a very exciting spring at Temple Beth Tikvah. I look forward to sharing many meaningful milestones with you.

Shalom,
Rabbi Danny Moss

President's Column - February 2023

Dear Friends,

In my column last month, I spoke about the strength of TBT coming from our members and their dedication to our community.  That was on clear display this weekend.  For those of you who missed it, the TBT Kulanu group hosted a community discussion about antisemitism.  We had tables and chairs set up for 120 people. 

The night before the event when I spoke to Harry Schanzer (my Dad and chair of the Kulanu Working Group), he admitted that he was worried “about the numbers.”  I asked, “too many or too few?”  He said, “too few.”  WRONG answer!!! 

We had more than 300 people from the Shoreline show up to learn how to combat antisemitism.  It was truly emotional and uplifting to see so many congregants, neighbors, friends, teens, politicians, clergy, educators, and allies come together against hate.  It made me proud to be Jewish, proud to be a member of Temple Beth Tikvah, and proud to live on the CT shoreline. 

After listening to Stacy Sobel, CT ADL Director, discuss what the ADL is doing to fight hate, two TBT congregants spoke of their own experiences with antisemitism.  Thank you to Maya Daniels, our courageous middle schooler, and the eloquent  Susan Ottenheimer, daughter of founding members of TBT.  We then broke into groups of ten to talk about our own experiences with hate or antisemitism.  In just my small group I heard about a landlord saying, “don’t go to that pool, that’s where the Jews go.”  Someone else told the story of leaving her job after her manager told her to “not market to the Jews” and the lawsuit that followed.  A third member talked about his struggle when he found out someone he does business with is a Holocaust denier. 

These were powerful stories that made me think about how I would respond in these situations and how I would want my children to react.  If we truly believe NEVER AGAIN, we must act. 

Step one is realizing that there is no place for hate and there is no such thing as a “microaggression.”  A racist joke is not funny, a Jewish slur is not “just a saying,” a homophobic comment is never OK, and speaking up is our duty. 

Kulanu means all of us. And it will take all of us to continue the mission to confront and fight antisemitism in our world.  This forum was only the first that our team is planning.  We look forward to many more.  I would like to thank the Kulanu task force - Harry Schanzer, Rabbi Moss, Kim Romine, Rosemary Baggish, Nancy Fliss, Irma Grebel, Louis King, and Andrea SanMarco – for their initiative, hours of planning, dedication, and leadership.

Karen Goldberg

Rabbi's Column - February 2023

Dear Friends,

As I write this, we are nearing the dramatic climax of the Exodus story in our weekly Torah cycle. It’s one of the great human narratives; one which we revisit every day in our prayer services and every year around the seder table. But we tend not to dwell on the plagues (apart from the hokey children’s seder toys, anyway), which would have been quite terrifying to experience! Consider the penultimate plague of darkness:

 “And Adonai said to Moses: ‘Stretch out your hand toward heaven, that there may be darkness over the land of Egypt, even darkness which may be felt.” (Ex. 10.21)

The medieval Italian commentator Ovadia Seforno attempts to understand the unique character of this darkness. He explains that darkness is not a substance, as such, but rather the absence of light. But the darkness of Egypt, he explains, is a separate entity, entirely: not an absence, but a tangible presence. Thus, no light could banish it.

Sometimes it feels that there is darkness in our world that no light can banish. We are living through difficult and dark times, for certain. And all of us go through seasons of trial and challenge — darkness out of which it may feel that we will never emerge.

The Torah goes on to specify that the Israelites could not see one another, so they did not rise from their dwellings for three days (10.23).  How does the Midrash respond? It says that the greatest darkness we experience is when we do not truly see one another —  when we do not participate in the distress of others. 

The only antidote to this darkness, of course, is reaching out to those around us who are in need. Or, when we are in need, we may reach out to others for a helping hand. This is one of the reasons our community exists. The relationships we can build at TBT are like a candle in the dark. Just ask our families who have been here for decades.  It doesn’t take decades to feel the warmth and profundity of these relationships, though — and like any profound journey, it starts with a first step. If you are interested in your first (or next) step, I’d love to talk with you about it.

L’Shalom,
Rabbi Moss

President's Column - January 2023

Hello Friends,

I don’t need to tell any of you that TBT has gone through A LOT of change over the last few years. Allow me to list some of them: we had the COVID disruption, a building renovation, a new rabbi, a new cantorial soloist/educator, and a new preschool director, and now we are searching for a replacement for Bonnie, our administrative assistant. Any one of these events would have been enough to devastate a synagogue; however, I will argue that Temple Beth Tikvah is thriving.

Nationwide, many synagogues are shrinking after the pandemic, yet our membership has been stable. Our preschool is full and has a waiting list. Religious school children are busy learning and are making friends. Our SALTY teens are engaged and filled with RUACH, going to BBYO events locally and nationally. The men’s group gets together to cook, discuss important issues, gathering for spiritual events with the rabbi, and build our Sukkah. Kol Ami women are hiking, participating in ceremonies, tasting wine, watching movies, and celebrating the new moon. The new Kulanu steering committee is organizing events to combat antisemitism with more and more volunteers that want to help. Torah Study is well attended and filled with good natured opinionated people. Shabbat services are now back in our building, and it is inspiring to see so many people joining together in prayer and song in our downstairs space. Finally. I am proud to say that we have now raised more than 7 million dollars in our capital campaign, and we are not done yet. . .

So why is Temple Beth Tikvah flourishing during all these challenges? I have often considered this lying awake at 2 AM worrying about the next crisis. . . and this is what I have come up with. TBT is thriving because of YOU, because of US. We are not about a fancy building, or even about our amazing clergy, staff, or teachers. TBT is about a group of 300 families that love our community and are willing to donate time and money to make sure that our community continues to grow and thrive, not only for ourselves but for our children and our children’s children, L’dor v’dor. As the Talmud says, “As my parents planted for me before I was born, so do I plant for those who will come after me.” We are literally and figuratively planting for our children.

As both a parent and a pediatrician, my goal is to help raise resilient children who can respond to change and hardship. As the temple president, I am relieved to know that our synagogue community has done just that. Temple Beth Tikvah is resilient, flexible, and strong. Thank you for making it so.

Karen Goldberg
President

Rabbi's Column - January 2023

Dear Friends,

At the Jewish summer camp of my youth, a popular topic for our limmudim (learning sessions) was this classic question: do we consider ourselves American Jews, or Jewish Americans? If push ever came to shove, which would be our primary identity?

I don’t think this question resonates anymore. For most Reform Jewish kids these days, there’s little to debate. Nearly all, I’d surmise, would identify as Americans first, and Jews second. And in many ways, this is a sign of incredible success: we have integrated into American society in ways that our immigrant ancestors could only have dreamed of.

Unfortunately, no matter our successes, there will always be those who reject us, existentially. That’s why I often avoid the clinical sounding word, “antisemitism,” preferring to call it what it is: the hatred of Jews. Many of us thought that the days of socially accepted Jew-hatred were behind us. Unfortunately, nobody can reasonably think that now. The hatred of Jews — which scholars deem the ‘oldest hate’ — has ebbed and flowed over 2000 years; and once again, it is on the rise.

In 2021, the ADL tracked 2,717 antisemitic incidents throughout the United States, ranging from harassment to violent assaults. This is the highest number in decades; and unfortunately, 2022 is on track to set a new record.

I believe that there are essentially two ways to respond to these trends: by disguising our identity or by confronting the hate by living proudly as Jews. Unfortunately, history has shown us that even assimilation and anonymity cannot protect Jews from those who hate. So, let’s stand up together, loud and proud!

I hope you will join us for our Kulanu (“all of us”) event against antisemitism and hate on January 29. We’ll be joined by Director of ADL Connecticut Stacey Sobel, as well as local clergy, school superintendents, and other civic leaders from the Shoreline. The event is open to all; so please bring your friends from inside and outside of the Jewish Community. And most importantly, bring your pride and love for being Jewish.

May love and true understanding prevail over hatred. May our hands together build the future we know our kids deserve.

Bivracha (Blessings),
Rabbi Danny Moss

President's Column - December 2022

Hello Friends,

I am currently writing this piece from an Orlando hotel room. I am attending my first in-person medical conference in over three years. What a gift it is to be able to escape the clinical craziness of flu, RSV, croup and Covid and to be able to spend five calm days just learning. I would like to share some of my new-found medical knowledge with you.

The title of one of my lectures today was "Non-Pharmacological Interventions for Mental Health Conditions". The lecturer listed seven healthy habits that are not only protective against mental illness but can also help to treat people already suffering from anxiety and depression. These include getting enough sleep, exercising, developing and maintaining friendships, good nutrition, practicing mindfulness and relaxation, spending time in green spaces, and decreasing time on screens (especially social media).

I thought about this list and how it pertains to my life habits. How do you measure up? Don’t worry, I have good news for you. Temple Beth Tikvah is here to help. Do you not get enough sleep, and are you unable to relax? Try out Jewish Mindfulness and Meditations sessions on Saturday mornings. Do you not spend enough time outside exercising? Join the Kol Ami hikers on the trails every weekend. Want to make new friends or to strengthen old friendships? Come to our Men’s Group, join the Book Club, try our Torah Study. Want some nutrition? Come to the Temple during Sunday school and eat and schmooze with other parents, stay for an oneg, or join us after Friday night services for one of our new Shabbat dinners at local restaurants.

And speaking of Shabbat, try to turn off your phone, distance yourself from social media, and experience the joy of singing and praying together. During these stressful times, TBT is just what the doctor ordered. And I won’t even charge you a copay.

Hope to see you soon,
Karen Goldberg

Rabbi's Column - December 2022

Dear Friends,

As I write this, we are about to light the first candle of Chanukah. Chanukah, which means “dedication,” commemorates the rededication of the great Temple in Jerusalem following the victory of the Maccabees in the 2nd Century, BCE. The famous story of the oil is first mentioned only many years later in the Talmud (Tractate Shabbat 21b):

When the Seleucid Greeks entered the Sanctuary, they defiled all the holy oil. And when the Hasmonean monarchy [i.e, the Maccabees] emerged victorious over them, they searched and found only one cruse of oil that was placed with the seal of the High Priest, undisturbed by the Greeks. And there was sufficient oil to light the menorah for only one day. A miracle occurred and they lit the menorah for eight days. The next year the Sages made [Chanukah] a holiday, with psalms of thanksgiving…

What the story leaves out — and I’ve been thinking about this quite a lot over the last year — is how the ancient Jews observed Chanukah in that first year. It would not have been a relaxing, luxurious holiday like we celebrate today. The sacred objects had been desecrated, and the space defiled with the remains of sacrificed pigs. There was much to clean and repair. I imagine the “rededication” only came to fruition in stages. For the eight nights following the victory, the miracle alone was enough. But then it was time to get to work.

The ancient Jewish community could not restore everything overnight. As with any major renovation project, it took sweat, patience, generosity, and time to become reality. So it is with our own “rededication” — we can see it happening in stages. Earlier this fall, many in our community signed a wall of dedication, to be installed behind the ark. Later, the lower lobby was ready for gathering, and we have been joyfully singing, praying, and connecting there with folks of all ages and stages. Very soon, we will be able to gather in our brand new community room, adjacent to the south building entrance and accessible to all. Thanks to the generosity of our families and the hard work of our volunteers, it is only a matter of time until we will celebrate the rededication of our own sanctuary.

This Chanukah, the sweet taste of anticipation is on all our lips. Like our ancient ancestors, there is so much for us to be thankful for this year. There is so much light ahead at TBT.

Wishing all of our families a joyful Chanukah of abundance,
Rabbi Danny Moss

President's Column - Fall 2022

Dear Friends,

A few months ago, I wrote my first president’s column. I told the story of meeting with Rabbi Alpert when I was feeling uninvolved in Judaism, unconnected with TBT and just exhausted. spoke about how he inspired me to do one small thing regularly to get the “spark” of Judaism back in my life. After Rabbi Offner read my piece, she asked me if she could send it to Rabbi Alpert. I agreed, a little embarrassed that I had not thought of tracking him down myself. This was his response. “I am leaving for Israel tomorrow and I don’t think I will need an airplane to fly there.”

 Not only did I make his day brighter, but whenever I think of that response, it fills me with happiness and makes me smile. Gratitude is a two-way street. It makes the giver and the beneficiary feel better. In fact, there are studies that show that keeping a gratitude journal daily is as effective a treatment as antidepressant medication. So, with these days of reflection upon us, let us think about what we are grateful for and whom we are grateful for. Let’s not forget to let those people know.

I will go first. . . I would like to thank all the great Rabbis who have helped shape my life. Being

president has taught me one thing for sure: being a Rabbi is a 24 hours / 7 day a week job and it is hard. I would like to thank Rabbi Moss for his unending work and dedication to our synagogue. Starting his career as a senior Rabbi during a pandemic, during a renovation project, and a Cantor search has been a huge challenge. Just one of these things (dayenu) would have been enough. His persistence and love for TBT is clear. I am honored to partner with him.

L'Shana Tova,
Karen Goldberg