Rabbi's Column - October 2021

Dear Friends,

This year, the month of October mostly corresponds to the Hebrew month of Cheshvan. Cheshvan, or Marcheshvan (“bitter” Cheshvan), is devoid of Jewish holidays — hence the bitter nickname the ancient rabbis assigned it.

But there’s nothing bitter about October at TBT! To the contrary: with our autumn holidays in the rearview mirror, there is still so much to look forward to! Our Religious School is off to a terrific start, and our Men’s Club and Kol Ami have an exciting roster of events. Our teens gathered for Confirmation, j-Chat, and their first SALTY event of the year: a “Great Gatsby” - themed Havdalah party!

Furthermore, this is a month of joyful transitions, as I have the privilege of being formally installed as Temple Beth Tikvah’s Rabbi at Shabbat Services on Friday, October 15th. I hope to see many of you in person for a festive outdoor oneg at 5:30pm at Dudley Farm, followed by the service at 6:30pm. Please carefully read the enclosed information about the service, which will take place both in person (advance registration required) and on Zoom.

Finally, we are starting to receive some wonderful responses to the question, “Why be Jewish in 2021?” If you would like to share your thoughts, feel free to send your reflections to whybejewishtbt@gmail.com! In the future we will find forums to share and discuss your thoughtful responses.

October is far and away my favorite month on the secular calendar. The weather is crisp and delightful; the autumn bounty brings us aromas of milled cider and pumpkin pie; and who could possibly deny the exceptional beauty of the New England foliage? Yes, blessings abound in this season of abundance. I am so glad to we can share them together.

תיִׁשאֵרְּב הֶׂשֲעַמ הֶׂשֹוע ,םָלֹועָה ְךֶלֶמ ּוניֵהֹלֱא הָוֹהְי הָּתַא ְךּורָּב

Baruch Atah Adonai - Oseh Ma’aseh B’reishit.

Blessed are You, Eternal God, for the miracles of creation!

Bivracha (Blessings),
Rabbi Moss

Rabbi's Column - Summer 2021

Dear Friends,

This is a season of transitions. Summer has arrived, and with it, a new sense of possibility. We are stepping out more and socializing with family and friends face-to-face. As I write this, my social media feed is full of smiles: kids arriving at summer camp for the first time in two years! Although much has changed, ‘“normal life” is finally starting to feel within reach.

As you know, this is also a time of significant transition for TBT. I am so deeply honored to serve as your new rabbi, effective July 1st. Many people have been working behind the scenes to make this transition a smooth one: Marlene Schwartz and Karen Goldberg, our Transition Committee Co-Chairs; Sarah Mervine; and my staff and clergy partners: Kim, Bonnie, and Cantor Boyle. I’d especially like to recognize Rabbi Offner. Over the course of many months she has been both generous with her time and gracious in welcoming me as her successor.

I hope you’ll indulge me in a few words of introduction. My wife Susan (pictured with me, below) and I recently relocated to the Shoreline from Norwalk, where we have lived for the last four years while I served a congregation in Westport. Susan, who is also a rabbi, works as a chaplain on the palliative care team at Bridgeport Hospital. We look forward to getting to know you throughout the summer.

In fact, I hope to meet as many families as possible before the High Holy Days! To that end, please consider attending one of the many gatherings we have planned for July and August. Some meetings are scheduled for the daytime, and others at night; some will take place in congregants’ homes and still others will convene on zoom. We hope you’ll find a time and location that aligns with your family’s needs. If you can’t, though, just send an email to Bonnie and we’ll find another time.

As we enter an era that feels at once familiar and brand new, many of us are following the building renovation progress eagerly. Although the timeline for completion has changed slightly from the initial estimate, our professional staff and RAC volunteers have been working diligently to find solutions for both in-person and online access which will give honor and sanctity to our holiest time of year. Rest assured: our High Holy Day observances will be wonderful, meaningful, and spiritually revitalizing.

Transitions can be challenging, but they are also full of tremendous promise. As we prepare to open the book of life for the upcoming Hebrew year of 5782, I feel blessed to be starting a new chapter, together.

Bivracha (Blessings),
Rabbi Danny Moss

Rabbi's Column - June 2021

Note: These remarks were offered by Rabbi Offner at the Annual Meeting on May 19th:

Dear Friends,

“The year in review.” My goodness. In my 37 years in the rabbinate, I have never gasped at that phrase as I do this year, the year of the greatest pandemic to ever hit us. This has, beyond doubt, been the most difficult year of my career – and yes, for those of you who were there for my Jewish Journey – more difficult than any challenge I have ever faced before.

And yet. “Af al pi chen.” We Jews are so good at staring down horrors that we have a phrase for it. “Af al pi chen” we say: NEVERTHELESS.

NEVERTHELESS, Temple Beth Tikvah has just walked through one of the greatest years in our history. We have broken ground on a new building. We have raised millions of dollars to assure that there will be a tomorrow as well as a yesterday for Jewish life on the Shoreline. We have welcomed a new Cantor, hired entirely on Zoom back in the day when we all thought that ‘zoom’ was a word we used to describe what airplanes do as they fly overhead. And that Cantor, God bless her, has flourished and taught and guided, beyond our greatest expectations.

And Kim Romine. There are no words. Stalwart, faithful, devoted tirelessly and effectively to all things TBT.

And oh yes, also one year ago: Sarah Mervine said ‘yes’ to the call to be president of TBT. She did so before “Covid” was a word in our vocabulary. Sarah Mervine, unbeknownst to her, inherited a building project, a capital campaign, a cantor transition and oh why not throw in a rabbi transition, and a COVID lockdown. Sarah: you have been my partner in all things in every way. You have selflessly, tirelessly, courageously, led our synagogue during this year of all years. YOU are amazing. And it has surely been one of the greatest gifts for me, to top off my rabbinate with getting to work side by side with you. Thank you.

In the midst of all the pandemic challenges, there have been blessings. Serious blessings that I hope we will take with us into the future. One: we have discovered the out-of-doors. KOL AMI has brought hiking into our Jewish lives. Services have been taken outside. Classes meet outside. Bar & Bat Mitzvahs are under tents. The Israelites in the desert first gathered under tents to seek God’s presence and now we know why. I haven’t met a Bar or Bat Mitzvah family all year long that hasn’t been grateful for the forced simplicity of their events. It has given them permission to focus on the truly important part of becoming B’nei Mitzvah.

This has also been a year of far more intentional connectedness. Through Helping Hands, first envisioned and established by Steve Eppler-Epstein, and the 2-Way L’Dor VaDor program that has been brilliantly steered by Donna Fedus, we have learned that “kol yisrael aravin zeh-ba-zeh,’ “all Israel is connected one to the other.” Just two more thoughts and then I will stop.

One: we have accepted technology into our events. What was once unseemly is now holy. Burying our loved ones and being able to live-stream from the cemetery, or getting married under the chupah and having grandparents who can’t travel able to attend, and my favorite example: I actually did a Brit Shalom, a baby-naming, where the parents and their baby were in Australia, one set of grandparents were in Montreal, the other grandparents were in Tel Aviv, and the proud aunt was here in Connecticut. These are nothing short of miracles and they not only helped us during a pandemic, they changed us and the way we practice Judaism, for the better.

And finally: we have witnessed a return to what has always been the central sanctuary of Jewish life: the home. I have watched each of you take charge of your Jewish lives. And that is a good thing. Rabbis are not meant to be in charge. We Jews do not believe in intermediaries. Rather, we believe in “Torah, Avodah and Gemilut Chasadim.” We believe in growing and stretching ourselves and doing acts of kindness. God bless you all, this has been a year of growing in Torah and envigorating our worship and doing countless acts of love & kindness. TBT can surely look to the future, as we open a new building and welcome a new rabbi, with gusto and enthusiasm.

Rabbi Stacy Offner

Rabbi's Column - May 2021

Rabbi Stacy Offner will share her Jewish Journey Thursday May 13th at 7:30 PM via Zoom.

Rabbi Offner is next up in TBT’s Jewish Journey Series. All TBT congregants are welcome to attend as Rabbi Offner tells us about her upbringing and what led to her choice to become a Rabbi, what it was like to be one of the few women in rabbinical school, and how she experienced being the first openly gay rabbi in a mainstream synagogue in the USA. Rabbi Offner has been a pioneer in the rabbinate in many ways and is taking this time, before her retirement, to reflect upon her Jewish Journey. This will be her gift to us. Be prepared to be inspired.

REGISTER by email office@tbtshoreline.org or call TBT (203) 245-7028

Sponsored by: 2 Way L’Dor V’Dor • Kol Ami • Men’s Club. • Farewell Committee

This program is made possible, in part, by Temple Beth Tikvah’s 2 Way L’Dor V’Dor program, with support from a Community Grant for the Jewish Elderly from the Jewish Foundation of Greater New Haven. The project aims to increase opportunities for social connection and intergenerational understanding by inviting congregants of all ages to interact.

The program will be recorded and may be shared. Please keep your camera off if you prefer not to have your image recorded.

Save June 9 at 7:30 PM for the next Jewish Journey program featuring Irv Schloss.

Save June 18 at 7:15 PM for Rabbi Offner’s Farewell Service.

Rabbi's Column - April 2021

Here’s a trivia question for you. There are four Jewish holidays in the month of April. None of them are Passover. What are they?

First of all, who could imagine that Passover would have come and gone already? As you read this column, I hope you can reflect back to awesome seders. Some of us were able to have a handful of family at our physical tables, and others logged into Zoom seders. Our TBT Seder was an extraordinary virtual seder! Many thanks to the members of the Religious Activities Committee and to our TBT Tech Team and to our participants for all pitching in to make that happen.

But I digress. So what are the 4 holidays still to come in April?

They are, in calendar order: Yom HaShoah, Yom HaZikaron, Yom Ha’atzma’ut, and Lag B’Omer. And yes, for those of you who really know the score, while the Passover Seders have come and gone, this 7-day holiday continues into April.

How do you observe the end of Passover? Most people celebrate with their favorite type of chametz, for some it is pizza, for others it is a bagel, still others prefer chocolate cake. However you choose to break your refrain from chametz, all of us conclude Pesach with Yizkor. Passover is always linked to the memory of loved ones no longer at our seder table. TBT will observe Yizkor at our Erev Shabbat service on Friday, April 2, at 6pm.

This Yom HaShoah we are going to join with the other synagogues in the Greater New Haven area for a zoom observance organized by Federation. In this year of acute loss because of the pandemic, we will come together to honor the memory of all those who perished in the Holocaust. Importantly, we will remember the strength and spirit of those who died and also of those who survived.

Yom HaZikaron and Yom Ha’atzma’ut are both Israeli holidays: Israel’s Memorial Day and Independence Day. They are poignantly observed one-day after the next, for it is those who have fallen in battle who have made Israel’s independence possible. We mourn, then we rejoice. Israel will be 73 years old on April 15th.

Lag B’Omer falls on the 33rd day of the counting of the Omer. We began our counting following the 2nd Seder, and we continue counting for 7 weeks. The 33rd day of the counting, Lag B’Omer, is best known for bonfires and haircuts and weddings. As we begin to sense a light at the end of the tunnel of pandemic, we look forward to more bonfires and haircuts and weddings, too!

May this month, chock-full of holidays, be a good month for you.
Rabbi Stacy K. Offner

Cantor's Column - March 2021

The month of March and the holiday of Purim mark one year since the world as we know it shut down. Many of us can remember the last large gathering we attended before we entered this period of social distancing and isolation. So much has happened in a year, and it is hard to believe that we are now approaching our second virtual Passover seder.

On Passover, we relive the story of our Exodus from Mitzrayim (Egypt). The word mitzrayim means “narrow place.” Slavery confined us to a narrow place, with limits on our physical, emotional, and spiritual selves. The Passover story is one of liberation from the things that hold us back.

In some sense, we have inhabited that narrow space this past year. We have been confined to our own homes and immediate families, and the strain on our physical and emotional selves is palpable. This past year has been one of profound loss - loss of loved ones, jobs, security, and closeness - and even when things return to “normal,” they will never be the same. However, we can find hope in knowing that this narrow existence is not forever. We are marching along the path to freedom as more people continue to receive the vaccine and we all do our part to end this plague. The return to gatherings, hugs, and togetherness is coming.

For most of us, we will escape Mitzrayim when the pandemic ends. But for many others, the reality of oppression will continue. On May 25th, the world stood still for 8 minutes and 46 seconds as we watched the senseless murder of George Floyd. His death sparked a series of nationwide protests and a re-commitment to fighting racism in this country. The youth of TBT presented the board with a letter detailing how we as a

Jewish community might better combat injustice in our own community.

Too quickly, we have already forgotten the events of this past summer. For 400 years we were slaves in Egypt, and the Torah tells us many times not to forgot that part of our history. The act of remembering requires action, and it is our responsibility as Jews to make sure that the same fate does not befall others. The Black Lives Matter (BLM) movement has continued to work tirelessly in the face of racial injustice. Co-founder Patrisse Cullors describes BLM as, “an imaginative freedom portal…. It allows us to dream our biggest dreams not just for Black people in this country but Black people around the world.”

What if we had never left Egypt? What would our dreams of freedom look like? When you talk about freedom at your seder this year, you can joke about freedom from masks and freedom from those with whom you are quarantined. But do not forget to also continue to fight against injustice in our own country and alongside those who face oppression and discrimination daily. Only then will we escape the narrow place and experience true freedom together.

Cantor Jennifer Boyle

Rabbi's Column - February 2021

When I was packing up my dorm room after graduating from college, there was one assigned book that I had not managed to read. I looked at the book and figured, no worries, I will read it after graduation when I have more free time. For those who are curious, it was a book for a Political Science class, Rachel Varnhagen: The Life of a Jewess, by Hannah Arendt. I never managed to read that book.

What is the lesson here? I’m not sure, but I thought of that moment as I was packing for my sabbatical. It has been a great challenge of my career that being a rabbi, which I dreamt meant being a sage who was always reading books, has often meant other things. I don’t regret for a second that it has meant putting people before books, but my sabbatical does allow me to focus a bit more on the books.

So what am I reading while on sabbatical? I have an eclectic selection of books, and I thought I would share my reading list with you. This is a risky proposition since, as you now know, I have not always completed my reading list. But share I wil!

1. Unfinished Rabbi. This is a book by the late, great Rabbi Arnold Jacob Wolf. Rabbi Wolf was a congregational rabbi on the south side of Chicago. He was a provocateur, and a great intellectual thinker. I was lucky enough to have him as a teacher. What I remember most is when he dared to give his congregation a report card. (For the record, they flunked some items, but received A’s in others). A shout out to TBT congregant Tom Lewy who gave me the book.

2. The Power Broker. This monstrously large book is about the monstrously powerful mastermind behind the urban development that we now know as New York City and environs. Robert Moses shaped much of the infrastructure that we are familiar with today, for better and for worse. It was TBT member Alan Meyers who put this book in my hands some nine years ago. Definitely hoping to read it at last.

3. Apeiragon. Though this is a novel, it is based on the very real “Combatants for Peace” and “Bereaved Parents” group that is comprised of both Israelis and Palestinians who have been wounded by, and had children killed, by the neverending conflict between Israel and the Palestinians. I admit that I didn’t want to read it because it is so painful. Then I realized that I needed to read it because it is so painful.

4. Profiles in Courage. I am always moved by people who take stands that go against their personal interest. At this moment in time, there are many opportunities to be that voice. Why and how do people find the courage to speak out against the tide? How do people discern their moral compass? I hope to find some answers in this great read, credited to President John F. Kennedy, but acknowledged to be written by Ted Sorenson.

Thank you all for the gift of a sabbatical. Special thanks to Cantor Boyle who will be covering for me during my absence. Looking forward to seeing you at the end of February, when we celebrate Purim together on February 25th and 26th.

Have a great February!
Rabbi Stacy K. Offner

Rabbi's Column - January 2021

Are you able to sleep well these days? Has COVID entered into your dreams? I know that I have periods of time when I remember my dreams vividly, and other times not at all. These days, interestingly enough, it’s been a hybrid. I wake up just knowing that I have been dreaming, but I have no clue what the dream has been. Nothing. Not the feeling, not the characters, not the plot.

Maybe that makes me lucky. I know that at the very least I have been sleeping well. How about you? Maybe you are sleeping better because, without that commute to work, you get to sleep later than usual. Then again, maybe not. Maybe you are racked with anxiety dreams. You sure do have every right to those, as we are now in the 10th straight month of mask-wearing and social-distancing. In some ways, the anxiety increases as we begin to believe that there may be a finish line. I think of Dorothy on her way to the Emerald City, all her friends wanting to give up. “But we’ve come so far, already,” Dorothy says in an effort to cheer them on and lift up their spirits.

Surely it is the Biblical Joseph who is most famously associated with dreams. Earlier in his life, Joseph’s dreams got him into trouble. They were the source of his misfortune as his brothers threw him into the pit. But when Pharaoh starts having strange dreams, Joseph rises in power because of his ability to interpret them.

When we speak of dreams, we mean different things. On the most literal level, dreams are what we do in our sleep. But to dream has a higher meaning as well. To dream can imply a sense of a larger vision of life, a sense that things could somehow be better than they are at present and a direction for how to advance toward that goal.

We have been doing a lot of dreaming these days. Right here at TBT, we dream about the future in our new building, safe and sound. As we prepare to celebrate Cantor Boyle’s installation as TBT’s Cantor, I know I also dream – on her behalf – for the day when she can engage with our congregation in the physical space of our newly renovated and beautified sanctuary. And if that’s not enough: We dream too about who the next rabbi of TBT will be. I know I dream of passing that torch to the perfect rabbi for the next chapter of TBT’s life. I dream too, of being in our new space, of looking back upon a successful capital campaign, so we can not only dream dreams, but pay for those dreams so we can live the dream.

About dreams, the midrash teaches: it is “true that everyone dreams, but a leader’s dream embraces the whole world.” And so, first and foremost, our greatest dream right now is to live in a world where we can touch and gather and embrace without risking our lives to do so.

I say: let us dream on, of a world not only free of the corona virus, but a world where we are free to heal the sick and comfort the bereaved, to feed the hungry and shelter the homeless, to reach for the stars and to hold each other tight. Hold fast to dreams for dreams do come true.

Rabbi Offner

Rabbi's Column - December 2020

What is the holiday of Chanukah really about? You ask someone who knows, and you get a different answer every time. It seems like a simple question, but the truth is, there is no easy answer.

The truth is – “What is Chanukah?” is one of the Talmud’s most famous questions. You have to know that if the rabbis are asking the question, there is no easy answer.

What is YOUR answer? I am sure that you have been asked the question many times, even been invited countless times to come into your child’s class and answer that question to an entire classroom of kids – most of whom are not Jewish – and their only reference point is Christmas.

“It’s the Jewish Christmas,” some will say. The truth is, both holidays do light lights during the darkest time of year. The truth is, that gesture is worthy of a holiday, not only at this physically darkest time of the year, but at this corona virus darkest time of the year. How do we respond to deep darkness? We create light.

But truth be told, when the rabbis of the Talmud asked: “Mei Chanukah” in their native Aramaic, when they asked “what is Chanukah?” that was not their answer.

“What is Chanukah?” the rabbis ask in tractate Shabbat 21b. And they answer their own question by explaining: “On the 25th of Kislev - when the Greeks entered the Temple, they polluted all the oils in the Temple, and when the Hasmonean dynasty overcame and defeated them, they checked and they found but one cruse of oil that was set in place with the seal of the High Priest, but there was in it only [enough] to light a single day. A miracle was done with it, and it stayed lit for eight days.”

Oil that was only enough for one day lasted for eight days. So Chanukah, it seems, is a holiday celebrating resilience. How much ‘oil’ do you have left in you? How do you sustain yourself, keep going, stretch the oil, the fuel that keeps you going, especially during a pandemic?

Chanukah teaches us how to live. And miraculously, Chanukah is a holiday we can celebrate in the safety of our own homes. Everyone can take a moment on each of the eight nights of Chanukah to kindle light, to remember that those who came before us gained strength and sustenance from this simple, accessible tradition.

Chanukah begins this year on Thursday, December 10th at sunset when we kindle the 1st candle. The 2nd night is Erev Shabbat and we will come together (virtually), as a congregation, and we will each kindle our own chanukiot, as Zoom gives us – yes – another miracle: the miracle of being inside everyone’s home at the same time and together we witness the faith and courage of our people as we kindle a light against the darkness and pray for another miracle of deliverance this year.

To a Chanukah filled with light and sustenance and miracles,
Rabbi Offner

Rabbi's Column - November 2020

Most knowledgeable Jews are quick to claim that there are NO Jewish holidays in the month of November -- but I beg to disagree. We have not only one, but two important Jewish holidays each and every November. Tuesday, November 3rd is Election Day, and I like to consider Election Day as a holiday in the best tradition of Jewish customs and values. Thursday, November 26th, is Thanksgiving, and the giving of thanks is also a core Jewish value.

This year we have an Election Day like no other. Roughly one-third of the electorate has already cast their ballot, but Election Day is still Election Day. We Jews have always treasured Election Day. I still can’t shake the image of my Polish-born grandfather dressing in his finest suit to go and cast his vote. Why? Perhaps it is because we have so rarely been accorded the right to vote that we don’t dare ever take it for granted. As battles rage across this country about access to vote it is important to remember that the right to vote is, in the scheme of things, a recent privilege for the Jewish people. It was not until the eighteenth century (that is, relatively recently) that public discourse even entertained the notion that Jews might vote, and otherwise become full participants of any nation, including ours. To this day, we Jews must remember that voting is a privilege not to be taken for granted, and a right that must be protected.

A major reason why the notion of Jews voting had hitherto been preposterous was that the pre-modern state was thoroughly intertwined with a particular religion. Even right here on the Shoreline! Once upon a time, you had to be a member of the church to cast a vote. The ability of Jews today to fully engage in the political processes of the United States has to do with a concept that did not exist prior to the 18th century. That concept is that nationality and religion can be separated.

That concept is also fundamental to our full embrace of Thanksgiving as a national holiday. The focus is rightly on the giving of thanks and we need to cultivate that sense of gratitude, especially now when times are so hard. In a year when we likely can’t sit around the Thanksgiving table as in years past, we can still tap into our appreciation for all that we do have. One thing I am grateful for is our interfaith community here in Madison & Guilford. My Christian colleagues are amongst my most treasured friends. I look forward to the day when we have greater religious diversity on the shoreline and Hindu temples and Muslim mosques also grace the skyline.

What are you grateful for? Hopefully, come Thanksgiving Day, you will look back upon Election Day and be very grateful for having voted.
- Rabbi Stacy Offner