Rabbi's Column - May 2021

Rabbi Stacy Offner will share her Jewish Journey Thursday May 13th at 7:30 PM via Zoom.

Rabbi Offner is next up in TBT’s Jewish Journey Series. All TBT congregants are welcome to attend as Rabbi Offner tells us about her upbringing and what led to her choice to become a Rabbi, what it was like to be one of the few women in rabbinical school, and how she experienced being the first openly gay rabbi in a mainstream synagogue in the USA. Rabbi Offner has been a pioneer in the rabbinate in many ways and is taking this time, before her retirement, to reflect upon her Jewish Journey. This will be her gift to us. Be prepared to be inspired.

REGISTER by email office@tbtshoreline.org or call TBT (203) 245-7028

Sponsored by: 2 Way L’Dor V’Dor • Kol Ami • Men’s Club. • Farewell Committee

This program is made possible, in part, by Temple Beth Tikvah’s 2 Way L’Dor V’Dor program, with support from a Community Grant for the Jewish Elderly from the Jewish Foundation of Greater New Haven. The project aims to increase opportunities for social connection and intergenerational understanding by inviting congregants of all ages to interact.

The program will be recorded and may be shared. Please keep your camera off if you prefer not to have your image recorded.

Save June 9 at 7:30 PM for the next Jewish Journey program featuring Irv Schloss.

Save June 18 at 7:15 PM for Rabbi Offner’s Farewell Service.

President's Column - April 2021

Like all of us, I have been thinking a lot these days about what it means to be at home for a year and looking back at how much we have learned about forming community while we are isolated. At TBT alone we now know how to hold virtual meetings, services, seders, movie nights, installations, book clubs and more. We “chat” with each other easily, go into breakout rooms, and we share our screens as if we were peering at the computer screen together. After a full year, look how far we have come! And while I mostly feel great about all we done, I have to admit that I also feel regret.

After all, well before the pandemic plenty of people we know and love had been stuck at home already, living lives away from us. Growing up in synagogue, or maybe just looking around you at TBT, you probably all know people who were pillars of the community, regulars at Torah Study or services or committees until, one day, they couldn’t be. Either through illness, frailty, old age, transportation or other issues, they became people who used to come to everything but now simply couldn’t.

And that, pretty much, was that. Once in a while a friend or relative might bring the person to something, but mostly that was the end of their connection to the community, save for a few visits to them. And we accepted that. And so did they.

Until we were ALL isolated and ALL became that person who was stuck at home. Then we immediately looked for and found ways to be included – Zoom services, Google Meet, Facetime. Yes, technology helped us, but some of that technology was available before the pandemic. We just weren’t always thinking about how to bring events to others because they were, well, others. Not us.

There were glimmers. We tried a live stream of High Holidays a year ago that was very well received. Now, however, there are more than glimmers. We know how to reach out to everyone and we are committed to doing so.

And so, if you are lucky enough to be able to return to TBT one day soon, for Religious School, services or (maybe!) a going away party for a beloved Rabbi, we are so happy to have you back! However, if you aren’t that lucky, do not worry. We hope to live stream, upload to YouTube or have “hybrid” events so all will be there. Zoom doesn’t have to be a thing of the past for those who need it; our new building should support all of these connections.

The biggest thing I have learned from this pandemic is if we are thoughtful and work a little harder, we can reach out to a number of people who can’t physically make it into our new building, beautiful though it may be. We will figure out how to include those members of the community who are ill or frail or maybe just live somewhere warm for half of the year! So, while I look forward to one day soon seeing many of you in person, I also look forward to including all of you, and others out there waiting to join, who will not be left out again.

Sarah Mervine

Rabbi's Column - April 2021

Here’s a trivia question for you. There are four Jewish holidays in the month of April. None of them are Passover. What are they?

First of all, who could imagine that Passover would have come and gone already? As you read this column, I hope you can reflect back to awesome seders. Some of us were able to have a handful of family at our physical tables, and others logged into Zoom seders. Our TBT Seder was an extraordinary virtual seder! Many thanks to the members of the Religious Activities Committee and to our TBT Tech Team and to our participants for all pitching in to make that happen.

But I digress. So what are the 4 holidays still to come in April?

They are, in calendar order: Yom HaShoah, Yom HaZikaron, Yom Ha’atzma’ut, and Lag B’Omer. And yes, for those of you who really know the score, while the Passover Seders have come and gone, this 7-day holiday continues into April.

How do you observe the end of Passover? Most people celebrate with their favorite type of chametz, for some it is pizza, for others it is a bagel, still others prefer chocolate cake. However you choose to break your refrain from chametz, all of us conclude Pesach with Yizkor. Passover is always linked to the memory of loved ones no longer at our seder table. TBT will observe Yizkor at our Erev Shabbat service on Friday, April 2, at 6pm.

This Yom HaShoah we are going to join with the other synagogues in the Greater New Haven area for a zoom observance organized by Federation. In this year of acute loss because of the pandemic, we will come together to honor the memory of all those who perished in the Holocaust. Importantly, we will remember the strength and spirit of those who died and also of those who survived.

Yom HaZikaron and Yom Ha’atzma’ut are both Israeli holidays: Israel’s Memorial Day and Independence Day. They are poignantly observed one-day after the next, for it is those who have fallen in battle who have made Israel’s independence possible. We mourn, then we rejoice. Israel will be 73 years old on April 15th.

Lag B’Omer falls on the 33rd day of the counting of the Omer. We began our counting following the 2nd Seder, and we continue counting for 7 weeks. The 33rd day of the counting, Lag B’Omer, is best known for bonfires and haircuts and weddings. As we begin to sense a light at the end of the tunnel of pandemic, we look forward to more bonfires and haircuts and weddings, too!

May this month, chock-full of holidays, be a good month for you.
Rabbi Stacy K. Offner

President's Column - March 2021

A friend recently told me that we all need a healthy dose of optimism right now, and I quipped back “what is that new drug and where do I find it?” It really has felt like optimism has been in short supply during this long winter. However, this evening I attended a meeting with the upcoming B’nei Mitzvah students, their families, Cantor Boyle and our soon to be new rabbi, Rabbi Moss. Looking around at all of those young faces excited and eager to become full-fledged “adults” in the eyes of TBT did fill me with optimism for our future and made me start to think about what other “healthy doses” there are right here at TBT.

For one, even as we remain away, our building is steadily being renovated. The old roof is coming down and the new roof is going up, city water is being hooked up, the new additions are being dug for our community room, expanded bathrooms, new kitchen and an elevator which will allow anyone to visit the first floor! Our sanctuary is being redone so all can fit and the new ark doors are under design. Less glamorous, but no less important, structural, and utility upgrades are also planned. It is happening as I write and, whenever we can return and be together, we will have a new, beautiful, accessible space to visit.

We are also steadily raising the money for this dream. We have reached almost $5.2 million of the $8 million goal. We need everyone’s help to make our new building a reality but, so far, the participation rate has been great. Our community is coming together to build it.

Along with the building, TBT members are being treated to some excellent programming – including a new class on Jewish Biblical History taught by Josh Lecar. If you missed the first one, do not worry, it is a series so there is time to join the next one - just contact Bonnie Mahon in the office. Or join the Power of Love presentation by Yad Vashem Sunday, March 7 at noon.

Speaking of Purim, by the time you get this we will have celebrated together and even managed to do a virtual Purim carnival for the kids! I hope the celebration helped cheer you along with the “Mishloach Manot” that were passed out to sweeten your celebration.

As we head into the spring after a long winter together, I am feeling very optimistic about what the future holds for all of us at TBT. I hope you are able to take advantage of some of TBT’s offerings and thereby find something that makes you take heart and feel that healthy dose of optimism we all really need right now.

Sarah Mervine

Cantor's Column - March 2021

The month of March and the holiday of Purim mark one year since the world as we know it shut down. Many of us can remember the last large gathering we attended before we entered this period of social distancing and isolation. So much has happened in a year, and it is hard to believe that we are now approaching our second virtual Passover seder.

On Passover, we relive the story of our Exodus from Mitzrayim (Egypt). The word mitzrayim means “narrow place.” Slavery confined us to a narrow place, with limits on our physical, emotional, and spiritual selves. The Passover story is one of liberation from the things that hold us back.

In some sense, we have inhabited that narrow space this past year. We have been confined to our own homes and immediate families, and the strain on our physical and emotional selves is palpable. This past year has been one of profound loss - loss of loved ones, jobs, security, and closeness - and even when things return to “normal,” they will never be the same. However, we can find hope in knowing that this narrow existence is not forever. We are marching along the path to freedom as more people continue to receive the vaccine and we all do our part to end this plague. The return to gatherings, hugs, and togetherness is coming.

For most of us, we will escape Mitzrayim when the pandemic ends. But for many others, the reality of oppression will continue. On May 25th, the world stood still for 8 minutes and 46 seconds as we watched the senseless murder of George Floyd. His death sparked a series of nationwide protests and a re-commitment to fighting racism in this country. The youth of TBT presented the board with a letter detailing how we as a

Jewish community might better combat injustice in our own community.

Too quickly, we have already forgotten the events of this past summer. For 400 years we were slaves in Egypt, and the Torah tells us many times not to forgot that part of our history. The act of remembering requires action, and it is our responsibility as Jews to make sure that the same fate does not befall others. The Black Lives Matter (BLM) movement has continued to work tirelessly in the face of racial injustice. Co-founder Patrisse Cullors describes BLM as, “an imaginative freedom portal…. It allows us to dream our biggest dreams not just for Black people in this country but Black people around the world.”

What if we had never left Egypt? What would our dreams of freedom look like? When you talk about freedom at your seder this year, you can joke about freedom from masks and freedom from those with whom you are quarantined. But do not forget to also continue to fight against injustice in our own country and alongside those who face oppression and discrimination daily. Only then will we escape the narrow place and experience true freedom together.

Cantor Jennifer Boyle

President's Column - February 2021

In Rabbi Offner’s article, she talks about a Rabbi who dared to give his congregation a report card. If we had to do that today for TBT, it would not be difficult. TBT congregants have managed to do so much during this extraordinary and difficult time. Some have joined the Capital Campaign where we have raised a little over $5.1 million towards our $8 million goal for renovating our building. Others have joined various committees to give input and direction to the building renovation that is well underway. They have assured that our new building will bring light, warmth, and accessibility to TBT while allowing room for a thriving Preschool and Religious School (and no need to turn our backs to our beautiful new ark during High Holidays). Others worked to have the installation of our wonderful new Cantor, Cantor Jenn Boyle, who hit the ground running and hardly feels “new” anymore! And, finally, some congregants worked on the search committee to find and hire our new Rabbi, Rabbi Danny Moss, who has so many great ideas for continuing Rabbi Offner’s legacy and leading us and our new building into the future. Even better, many of you came out to greet the new rabbi and show him what a warm community we are.

While it really isn’t anyone’s job to grade the synagogue, we can all feel good about the progress we have made. However, I assure you there is still more work to do and, with that, many opportunities to participate over the next few months! Here are just a few:

1.Consider joining just one committee at TBT that piques your interest. Education, Social Justice, Religious Activities, Communication, Technology, and Programming could all use your help.

2.Consider what kind of gift you might be able to make to the Capital Campaign as we have a goal of 100% participation from all members. We are trying hard to meet with each member by June and would love to meet with you. We welcome the gift you can make towards our financial stability and our new home.

3.Consider joining the Board, maybe for the first time ever, maybe for the third time! We are in the process of creating a nominating committee to fill open Board spots, so now is the time for you to consider lending your talents to TBT.

4.Come to one of our amazing programs over the next few months. As you will see in this Shofar, we have diverse programming available – from an Adult Education course on Jewish Biblical History to a medical program to discuss the link between Jewish Ancestry and certain health risk factors. Or show up at Book Club or Torah Study for the first time. Our groups are growing every day and are completely remote so you don’t need to go anywhere to be part of our community!

My experience at TBT is that the more you dig in, the more you get out of it. We welcome your time, your thoughts and your participation. Not sure how to start? Email me at sarahmervine@gmail.com or call the TBT office and I will get you started in the right direction. Thank you in advance for all you will do this year! - - Sarah

Rabbi's Column - February 2021

When I was packing up my dorm room after graduating from college, there was one assigned book that I had not managed to read. I looked at the book and figured, no worries, I will read it after graduation when I have more free time. For those who are curious, it was a book for a Political Science class, Rachel Varnhagen: The Life of a Jewess, by Hannah Arendt. I never managed to read that book.

What is the lesson here? I’m not sure, but I thought of that moment as I was packing for my sabbatical. It has been a great challenge of my career that being a rabbi, which I dreamt meant being a sage who was always reading books, has often meant other things. I don’t regret for a second that it has meant putting people before books, but my sabbatical does allow me to focus a bit more on the books.

So what am I reading while on sabbatical? I have an eclectic selection of books, and I thought I would share my reading list with you. This is a risky proposition since, as you now know, I have not always completed my reading list. But share I wil!

1. Unfinished Rabbi. This is a book by the late, great Rabbi Arnold Jacob Wolf. Rabbi Wolf was a congregational rabbi on the south side of Chicago. He was a provocateur, and a great intellectual thinker. I was lucky enough to have him as a teacher. What I remember most is when he dared to give his congregation a report card. (For the record, they flunked some items, but received A’s in others). A shout out to TBT congregant Tom Lewy who gave me the book.

2. The Power Broker. This monstrously large book is about the monstrously powerful mastermind behind the urban development that we now know as New York City and environs. Robert Moses shaped much of the infrastructure that we are familiar with today, for better and for worse. It was TBT member Alan Meyers who put this book in my hands some nine years ago. Definitely hoping to read it at last.

3. Apeiragon. Though this is a novel, it is based on the very real “Combatants for Peace” and “Bereaved Parents” group that is comprised of both Israelis and Palestinians who have been wounded by, and had children killed, by the neverending conflict between Israel and the Palestinians. I admit that I didn’t want to read it because it is so painful. Then I realized that I needed to read it because it is so painful.

4. Profiles in Courage. I am always moved by people who take stands that go against their personal interest. At this moment in time, there are many opportunities to be that voice. Why and how do people find the courage to speak out against the tide? How do people discern their moral compass? I hope to find some answers in this great read, credited to President John F. Kennedy, but acknowledged to be written by Ted Sorenson.

Thank you all for the gift of a sabbatical. Special thanks to Cantor Boyle who will be covering for me during my absence. Looking forward to seeing you at the end of February, when we celebrate Purim together on February 25th and 26th.

Have a great February!
Rabbi Stacy K. Offner

Rabbi's Column - January 2021

Are you able to sleep well these days? Has COVID entered into your dreams? I know that I have periods of time when I remember my dreams vividly, and other times not at all. These days, interestingly enough, it’s been a hybrid. I wake up just knowing that I have been dreaming, but I have no clue what the dream has been. Nothing. Not the feeling, not the characters, not the plot.

Maybe that makes me lucky. I know that at the very least I have been sleeping well. How about you? Maybe you are sleeping better because, without that commute to work, you get to sleep later than usual. Then again, maybe not. Maybe you are racked with anxiety dreams. You sure do have every right to those, as we are now in the 10th straight month of mask-wearing and social-distancing. In some ways, the anxiety increases as we begin to believe that there may be a finish line. I think of Dorothy on her way to the Emerald City, all her friends wanting to give up. “But we’ve come so far, already,” Dorothy says in an effort to cheer them on and lift up their spirits.

Surely it is the Biblical Joseph who is most famously associated with dreams. Earlier in his life, Joseph’s dreams got him into trouble. They were the source of his misfortune as his brothers threw him into the pit. But when Pharaoh starts having strange dreams, Joseph rises in power because of his ability to interpret them.

When we speak of dreams, we mean different things. On the most literal level, dreams are what we do in our sleep. But to dream has a higher meaning as well. To dream can imply a sense of a larger vision of life, a sense that things could somehow be better than they are at present and a direction for how to advance toward that goal.

We have been doing a lot of dreaming these days. Right here at TBT, we dream about the future in our new building, safe and sound. As we prepare to celebrate Cantor Boyle’s installation as TBT’s Cantor, I know I also dream – on her behalf – for the day when she can engage with our congregation in the physical space of our newly renovated and beautified sanctuary. And if that’s not enough: We dream too about who the next rabbi of TBT will be. I know I dream of passing that torch to the perfect rabbi for the next chapter of TBT’s life. I dream too, of being in our new space, of looking back upon a successful capital campaign, so we can not only dream dreams, but pay for those dreams so we can live the dream.

About dreams, the midrash teaches: it is “true that everyone dreams, but a leader’s dream embraces the whole world.” And so, first and foremost, our greatest dream right now is to live in a world where we can touch and gather and embrace without risking our lives to do so.

I say: let us dream on, of a world not only free of the corona virus, but a world where we are free to heal the sick and comfort the bereaved, to feed the hungry and shelter the homeless, to reach for the stars and to hold each other tight. Hold fast to dreams for dreams do come true.

Rabbi Offner

President's Column - Come back next month to read the President's Column!

Come back next month to read the January 2021 Column!

Rabbi's Column - December 2020

What is the holiday of Chanukah really about? You ask someone who knows, and you get a different answer every time. It seems like a simple question, but the truth is, there is no easy answer.

The truth is – “What is Chanukah?” is one of the Talmud’s most famous questions. You have to know that if the rabbis are asking the question, there is no easy answer.

What is YOUR answer? I am sure that you have been asked the question many times, even been invited countless times to come into your child’s class and answer that question to an entire classroom of kids – most of whom are not Jewish – and their only reference point is Christmas.

“It’s the Jewish Christmas,” some will say. The truth is, both holidays do light lights during the darkest time of year. The truth is, that gesture is worthy of a holiday, not only at this physically darkest time of the year, but at this corona virus darkest time of the year. How do we respond to deep darkness? We create light.

But truth be told, when the rabbis of the Talmud asked: “Mei Chanukah” in their native Aramaic, when they asked “what is Chanukah?” that was not their answer.

“What is Chanukah?” the rabbis ask in tractate Shabbat 21b. And they answer their own question by explaining: “On the 25th of Kislev - when the Greeks entered the Temple, they polluted all the oils in the Temple, and when the Hasmonean dynasty overcame and defeated them, they checked and they found but one cruse of oil that was set in place with the seal of the High Priest, but there was in it only [enough] to light a single day. A miracle was done with it, and it stayed lit for eight days.”

Oil that was only enough for one day lasted for eight days. So Chanukah, it seems, is a holiday celebrating resilience. How much ‘oil’ do you have left in you? How do you sustain yourself, keep going, stretch the oil, the fuel that keeps you going, especially during a pandemic?

Chanukah teaches us how to live. And miraculously, Chanukah is a holiday we can celebrate in the safety of our own homes. Everyone can take a moment on each of the eight nights of Chanukah to kindle light, to remember that those who came before us gained strength and sustenance from this simple, accessible tradition.

Chanukah begins this year on Thursday, December 10th at sunset when we kindle the 1st candle. The 2nd night is Erev Shabbat and we will come together (virtually), as a congregation, and we will each kindle our own chanukiot, as Zoom gives us – yes – another miracle: the miracle of being inside everyone’s home at the same time and together we witness the faith and courage of our people as we kindle a light against the darkness and pray for another miracle of deliverance this year.

To a Chanukah filled with light and sustenance and miracles,
Rabbi Offner